My wife is starting a program at USU aimed at a speech therapy Master's
degree. With our youngest starting kindergarten this fall it's a perfect
chance for her to get back to what she loves.
I think the Mormon culture I grew up in does a great job of preparing women to
be moms. I don't think it does as well to prepare women for what happens
after our mom duties are no longer 24/7. To be clear, I differentiate between
Mormon culture and LDS doctrine. I always had some side interests
seperate from motherhood, and I am convienced my kids benefitted. As they are
growing and beginning to leave the nest it is so easy to feel lost, like what is
my purpose now? I am grateful that our family's fairly recent circumstances
necessitated in my returning to college to prepare for working in a fileld I
find satisfying. I now work part time which allows me to still be there for our
few remaining kids while helping me to bridge into the empty nest and still find
good purpose in my life.
'To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under
heaven' Ecclesiastes sums up a mothers life pretty well. There were times
when my children took all my energy, which seemed to happen when they were very
young babies and then again when they were teens. It seemed in those times that
I would never have time for any of my pursuits or dreams. But now in another
season of life where children don't have major needs my career and pursuits
take a larger stage of life. It is a misnomer to think of women as
Mother's only. We are complex. We have goals and dreams. It is good
example to show children our talents and encourage them to find theirs.
I think it is very important for mothers to find something that is just
"theirs", their own interest. I look back on my years of raising 5
beautiful and wonderful children and realize that I was never prepared for the
time they would all leave me. No one taught me that they would feel differently
about me, that they wouldn't need me and that many times I would feel so
alone. After my 20 yr. old son died of cancer I drew even closer to our
remaining children. I guess I was too involved in their lives and that was not a
good thing. Raising my children was the most incredible experience of my life
but it will never be the same. I thank God for a husband who loves and adores me
and never fails to tell me many times a day how much he loves and NEEDS me. I
don't know what I would do without him! He truly is my "knight in
shining armor" and we will celebrate our 51st anniversary in a few months.
Thank You God for the most wonderful husband a woman could EVER have!
Of course moms need more than motherhood in their lives. You are a person first.
Without a balance you will just be a more stressed out mom. I
cringe when parents say are raising their girl to be a wife and mother.
I'm raising my girls to be caring, responsible, well-balanced people with
marketable skills so they can support themselves. If they get to be a wife and
mother, those attributes will help them do that and that's a blessing. If
they don't get that opportunity, they can still lead happy, fulfilled
lives. When we teach that being a wife/mother is the only goal, what happens if
that doesn't happen? They are often disillusioned and unhappy and have to
learn what I'm teaching my daughters from the beginning. I have to be
diligent to counteract the Mormon culture in my daughters' lives so that
they become well-balanced individuals. And, we never teach that being a husband
and father is the only goal for men.
"Don’t all moms need an outlet, a chance to develop their personal
interests and talents? "For women in general there is a powerful
dissonance built into our system. In capitalism only activities which produce
income are considered legitimate. Everything else is a lesser activity. What,
pray, can women do about that?
When my children were young, I was a stay at home mom, and loved it. When my
youngest started kindergarten, I started college, and I loved it intensely. I
fell in love with physics and stayed in school for 11 years while getting my
doctorate in the field. In the mean time my kids would bring friends home and I
would tutor them in all kinds of math. I worked in the field for about 10
years, even while going through cancer treatments. Now I'm a year out,
having endured a second series of chemo treatments for 48 weeks, and I am tired,
and just not up to travelling any more. However, I have developed great skills
in computers and the internet, and so I am quitting my job, and I am focusing on
genealogy. I love my time as a full time mother, my time in school, my time
working and now my time doing genealogy. My children all have college degrees
and are self sufficient. May I say that our prophets have encouraged us women
to get a college degree that will support us if needed. I am so grateful for
All people, women, moms, men, dads, single folks, etc need to find purpose in
their lives. Why must moms always be singled out and treated like they are some
sort of victims. Don't believe me, go read some of the similar articles out
there that are just like this one.Personally, I find motherhood and fatherhood
the two most important "jobs" a person could have in their lives. With
that said, I don't think there needs to be all of this drama over what they
Yes they do, like real positions of power in their church and its saving
rituals. Saying motherhood is enough actually diminishes the importance of
fatherhood, as men also have those powers and positions. Is fatherhood less
important, so they need more?
Marxist: In capitalism it is not "income" that is legitimate, it is
"producers". Dare I say that without mothers "producing"
children, the concept of capitalism would be unnecessary.