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Moneywise

Marriage may be costly, but it's leading to happiness

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  • Hutterite American Fork, UT
    April 1, 2014 10:13 a.m.

    I believe it is still possible to get married, or own a car for that matter, for a reasonable cost. What's changed is that we've developed a much larger sense of entitlement, of perfection and luxury, no matter how irrelevant or unnecessary.

  • Steven S Jarvis Orem, UT
    April 1, 2014 11:01 a.m.

    My wife and I recently did a "return" wedding for her family. The dress was much more expensive than the dress we had for the original wedding. The cost of the first dress was $30 and the second more lavish dress was $80. This $80 dress was just as glitzy as the ones in the mall others pay $1200 for. You can find amazing dresses for under $200 online if order ahead and alter it after the dress arrives.

    The ring was heavily discounted. Got it for $370 and it was exactly what my wife wanted. The engagement party was under $50 as well.

    The first wedding, meals plus in-home reception was less than 2K. The second including airfare ($3K) was under 6K. If you shop around bargains abound.

  • RedWings CLEARFIELD, UT
    April 1, 2014 11:15 a.m.

    "Most people spend more time planning the wedding than the marriage".....

    Too bad that so many couples spend all of that time and money having a great celebration and are divorced 2 years later...

    Society would be much better off if those who do marry held it with the sanctity it deserves. Marriage is not a "contract" or a "celebration of love". A true marriage is a covenant where each partner places the others needs above his or her own. Learning to love someone else more than yourself is the true lesson of marriage.

    Something our society has forgotten.....

  • Ranch Here, UT
    April 1, 2014 11:20 a.m.

    "No matter the price, marriage is key to a happy life ..."

    Does anybody else find it ironic that the DN continues to print this statement (this isn't the first time); all the while they also print editorials and letters advocating denial of marriage to loving couples?

  • RedWings CLEARFIELD, UT
    April 1, 2014 11:38 a.m.

    @ Ranch:

    Everyone has the right to marry. Any man can marry any woman and vice verse (provided they are not already married)...

  • Furry1993 Ogden, UT
    April 1, 2014 12:45 p.m.

    @
    RedWings

    CLEARFIELD, UT

    @ Ranch:

    Everyone has the right to marry. Any man can marry any woman and vice verse (provided they are not already married)...
    11:38 a.m. April 1, 2014

    -------------------

    I've heard that argument before, back in the 1960s, only then it said "any person can marry any other person provided they are both of the same race (provided they are not already married). The argument was ill-conceived and unconstitutional then, and it is equally ill-conceived and unconstitutional when it relates to same-sex marriage. The US Supreme Court got it right in its decision in Loving v. Virginia, 388 U.S. 1 (1967), which struck down that reasoning.

  • t702 Las Vegas, NV
    April 1, 2014 1:24 p.m.

    "No matter the price, marriage is key to a happy life — especially at a young age."
    Too bad wedding cost don't dictate success or failure but people keep on spending and spending...are we nuts?

  • RedWings CLEARFIELD, UT
    April 1, 2014 1:31 p.m.

    Race and gender are two different things.

    Same-sex attraction is something that defies a clear understnading and explanation. I know many who struggle with it. Homosexuality is another matter. Those who act on their SSA are making a choice to do so. No one can stop or change what race they are - but one can choose not to have relations with someone of the same sex. As a society, we are taking equal rights beyond characteristics and into behavior.

    While I would never deny any of my gay friends the right to employment, housing, etc., I would argue that those relationships - if the choose to engage in them - should be protected legally as a civil union. All legal rights are protected in this union, as they should be.

    Marriage should belong to religious institutions to define according to their collective conscience. If a church decides to recognize same-sex relationships, that is their business. But those who choose not to shold not be subjected to name-calling and legal attacks. True "tolerance" would be dsiplayed in this situation....

  • cocosweet Sandy, UT
    April 1, 2014 1:58 p.m.

    I believe the point of this article is that weddings have gotten increasingly expensive (really expensive) and not about same sex marriages (I support those by the by).

    Lavish weddings are good.. good for the wedding industry, but does it predict how well a marriage will fare in the future? Unless the couple has an incredible total salary and can afford to pay for these events in cash I'd guess there are finance fights in their future.

  • Wonderpus Salt Lake City, Salt Lake, UT
    April 1, 2014 3:18 p.m.

    I remember my lavish wedding like it was yesterday……… $30 wedding rings made by a local artisan, I got a new (2nd hand) bow tie, wifey got a matrimonial jump suit from a thrift store, clandestine ceremony at a public park (officiated by a Dudiest Priest friend for free), clandestine reception at the bowling alley, invited only our closest family and friends. Everyone loved it's simplicity, and unpretentious atmosphere. We asked for no gifts, people appreciated that. Later we had a backyard picnic for people who didn't attend the wedding. All-in-all, we spent about 2 grand, $1800 of which took us to the Caribbean for 10 days ( That means the "wedding" itself was $200- including rings, license, attire, etc… everything we needed). Best part is knowing that our marriage is every bit as valid as someone who spent $80,000. Since it was so low key, it was also very low stress. Having a Bride breaking out in hives from stress is not a good thing for your special day. Remember folks: you don't have to spend money to make a commitment.

  • Ernest T. Bass Bountiful, UT
    April 1, 2014 3:21 p.m.

    Yes! The wedding industry is one of the biggest wastes of money there is.

  • Nan BW ELder, CO
    April 1, 2014 4:17 p.m.

    As a parent of five adult children, I am glad that none of them had lavish weddings. Four of them were under $5,000, and the one for which expenditures were highest was more recent when everything has been more costly. Those marriages have lasted. As for the other wedding, which was a pricier one, it didn't last.

  • Sean Jackson Provo, UT
    April 1, 2014 4:58 p.m.

    The problem isn't the cost, it's where the cost comes from.

    To take pictures at Thanksgiving point doesn't incur an extra cost. To take wedding pictures costs $100. We found that companies wanted to charge us $50 for several things that normally cost $5.

    The "wedding surcharge" is an ugly thing.

  • pschles USA, ID
    April 1, 2014 5:06 p.m.

    Poor title, and its such a shame to hear. I don't think it's anything that the country should be proud of. I don't think it can say anything about marriage happiness. I always remember an uncle spending $30K on a wedding 20 years ago and a split up not three weeks later.
    Peter

  • PGVikingDad Pleasant Grove, UT
    April 1, 2014 5:24 p.m.

    Let these stats sink in for a moment: Average cost of a wedding = $30,000; Average retirement savings of a 50-year-old = $44,000.

    Outrageous.

  • Janet Ontario, OR
    April 1, 2014 5:31 p.m.

    I remember when Joan Rivers spent a million dollars on her only child's Dr. Zhivago-themed wedding. The marriage, sadly, ended in divorce. I remember attending a $50,000 wedding in the mid-1990s. That marriage, also, ended in divorce. We all know that the cost of a wedding has no correlation to the success of the marriage, but girls are being socialized to dream for years of becoming princess for a day with all of the fairytale elements. They're often far less prepared for the struggles of married life.

  • On the other hand Riverdale, MD
    April 1, 2014 5:45 p.m.

    These days, most Americans who are in a serious relationship live as if they already were married; then, after a few years, they decide to "make it official." My mother-in-law's theory is that they feel a need to throw a lavish celebration in order to prove to themselves that being married is something different from the situation they've been in for so many years already.

  • Jim Mesa, Az
    April 1, 2014 7:14 p.m.

    Someone once said that the cost of the wedding was in proportionate to the length of the wedding.

  • Old Doc Thatcher, AZ
    April 1, 2014 7:24 p.m.

    I must be doing something wrong. Last month my daughters was under $3,000

  • ulvegaard Medical Lake, Washington
    April 1, 2014 7:33 p.m.

    We did our best to keep our costs down. I suspect that one of the stresses which might in fact lead to a marriage breakup are how are they going to pay of the credit cards that were maxed out for their 'happy day'.

    I tend to think that if you can be frugal and focused on priorities for your wedding day, your marriage will be much the same --- frugality and a focus on priorities and a general avoidance of extremes which often cause friction.

  • patriot Cedar Hills, UT
    April 1, 2014 8:20 p.m.

    30k average huh? Wow!! My kids average cost was less than 5k. With the national divorce rate so high...and climbing....I am betting there are alot of parents still paying off their divorced kids weddings. That's depressing.

  • Wilf 55 SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    April 1, 2014 9:47 p.m.

    The article seems to agree that a costly marriage is OK, since it leads to happiness. Strange how this viewpoint is seemingly OK for the U.S., but condemned by Elder Oaks as it pertains to Africa. See his talk on Gospel Culture, Ensign, March 2012. Are we using double standards?

  • cjb Bountiful, UT
    April 1, 2014 11:00 p.m.

    Is it worth it?

    Only if you can justify spending tens of thousands on a one night affair and then reaching retirement age be as poor as a church mouse or have to depend on and be a burden to others.

  • Outside-View Federal Way, WA
    April 1, 2014 11:45 p.m.

    I like the statement that a marriage in your 30's is a "merger" while a marriage earlier in your 20's is a "start up". Going through tougher times together can bring couples closer together and make you depend on one another.

    After you get your career and are established it becomes harder to find that person that you need.

    Spending $30,000 on a wedding is rediculous unless you really make a lot of money (over obamas $250,000 threshold). Even then it doesnt make sense.

    Start out by adhereing to your values of avoiding unnecessary debt adn living on what you earn.

  • As If! Layton, UT
    April 2, 2014 10:53 a.m.

    I like so watch some shows on TV about buying wedding dresses. I can't believe the amount of dollars that are spent on one single dress. Some of theses people have been saving for their wedding for months or even years. I've met people who have been 'engaged' for over ten years. Give me a break. They aren't engaged, they're cohabitating, which is none of my business, but really? I thought that when you go engaged that you at least set a date. I don't believe in lavish weddings. My mother make my dress, I paid only $500 for my reception at a friends house, etc,... I feel sorry for people who go into so much debt for a wedding. It is about commitment and love. I can't think of a worse way to start a marriage if you go into debt over this.