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Wright Words: Idaho woman learns to ‘stand’ again after betrayal, adultery and murder

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  • MormonSean Provo, UT
    March 4, 2014 8:10 p.m.

    "And when life does hit us, we decided, we’d better be standing.
    Because that’s right where God wants us."

    Amen

  • Stormy Sunrise American Fork, UT
    March 4, 2014 10:08 p.m.

    I appreciate the positive message of faith in this article.
    We live in a difficult time and I appreciate others who are willing to share their faith in Jesus Christ as they work through their own trials.
    Thank you!

  • Eastern girl New Haven, CT
    March 5, 2014 4:08 a.m.

    Wow, faith is a beautiful gift for the hard times that come! Ashlee is an amazing woman. Best wishes for all your endeavors!

  • G Blake West Jordan, UT
    March 5, 2014 4:52 a.m.

    "...Without the Lord, we'll break; but with Him, we'll break through."
    Sometimes a turn of phrase is very clever, and we admire the intellect of its author; other times a pearl such as this is born of the most intimate and deepest suffering. We remember these not so much for their wit, charm or eloquence, as for their truth; we sense the wisdom, having been spared the agony.

  • LovelyDeseret Gilbert, AZ
    March 5, 2014 5:12 a.m.

    Betrayal is devastating. Forgiveness is tough. This is a remarkable story.

  • Max Charlotte, NC
    March 5, 2014 5:17 a.m.

    You never, ever know how many lives will be devastated by infidelity. How sad that this man turned out to be very different than the man she thought she married and had five kids with. My heart goes out to her and her children for what they have been through.

  • JBQ Saint Louis, MO
    March 5, 2014 5:47 a.m.

    WE have met the enemy and it is us. Churches are coming apart. The inviolability of the family is no longer sacrosanct. Pornography appears to be a major tool used by the forces of evil. Benedict the 16th has remarked on the danger of "personal fulfillment". All that the new pope will say is "who am I to judge".

  • ImABeliever Provo, UT
    March 5, 2014 6:24 a.m.

    Apparently the husband had a beautiful wife and threw it all away. I thank God for free agency but sometimes I wish he didn't let men have it as some abuse it and make poor choices.
    Now a family is broken up. How tragic.

  • windsor City, Ut
    March 5, 2014 6:44 a.m.

    I saw this girl's blog referenced three times today in different places, and now found this article.

    So impressed with her.

    With what little I read before this article, didn't know she had found a wonderful man.

    The pictures were great.

    Lovely that she is happy.

  • TheFork Spanish Fork, UT
    March 5, 2014 6:52 a.m.

    Thank You Ashlee for bearing your soul, and thanks Jason for further spreading the message.

  • albertinamel REDMOND, WA
    March 5, 2014 6:57 a.m.

    I know all papers put in "personal pieces" from time to time, but this one is very poorly written. It's so laden with LDS jargon that it would be difficult for anyone outside the faith to really relate to it, as opposed to comparable pieces written in a more cosmopolitan paper than DN. Also, maybe it's just me, but the part that stood out to me was her overly long website/blog name, which looked like "The moments west and" to me.

  • FDRfan Sugar City, ID
    March 5, 2014 7:35 a.m.

    The sentence for Robert Hall was far too harsh but he should have just divorced and rebuilt his life.

  • Forgiveness is the Answer St George, UT
    March 5, 2014 8:16 a.m.

    This is a wonderfully inspiring story of a woman who has overcome much... and will be an instrument for good for thousands of lives.

  • Forgiveness is the Answer St George, UT
    March 5, 2014 8:17 a.m.

    But I wonder about the lives of others. Perhaps some readers are acquainted with the account of a pioneer man who, after learning his wife had been seduced in Salt Lake County, hunted down the offender and shot him dead. After the testimony of one of the Twelve Apostles at his trial, he was found not guilty & that he'd acted within the rights of any man. Robert Hall's sentence was overly harsh. Because he killed the father to 5 children? Still... he TOO was betrayed by someone: an employer, a lawyer, he'd entrusted his wife to daily.

    Most of all I ask myself of Kandi Hall. Hardly a footnote in this story, what's become of her? If she has an ounce of feeling left within her, she's living with a remorse, a regret, a constant suffering for her mistake that is most difficult to overcome. Where's the forgiveness for her? The release? the acceptance? the love? Not just from this wonderfully inspiring Ashlee... I mean the forgiveness-gift she needs to give herself.

  • red.diehard Central, UT
    March 5, 2014 8:30 a.m.

    Bad things happen to good people, it's what you do next that shows who you are.

  • Max Charlotte, NC
    March 5, 2014 8:41 a.m.

    Curiosity got the best of me and I watched the Dateline episode: Deadly Desire. If this was an accurate account, then this young lady is far better off without him. Again, my heart goes out to her and her children for what he put them through.

  • Forgiveness is the Answer St George, UT
    March 5, 2014 8:49 a.m.

    I did not mean to imply above that Ashlee had not forgiven Kandi Hall--of course she has! Or she couldn't be living with such peace herself!

    I'm just saying that those that make the mistake are the harshest judges of themselves, never forgiving self and letting go, feeling like dirt for the rest of their lives... and often this is exacerbated by others who don't also forgive, and overtly make efforts to accept and love the person who made a terrible mistake. She probably needs some hugs too, maybe more than anyone. (Next to Robert, who can also repent and be forgiven.)

  • CBAX Provo, UT
    March 5, 2014 8:54 a.m.

    "Mommy what happened to my real daddy?"

    "He was shot by the angry husband of the woman he was cheating on me with!"

    "What does cheating mean mommy?"

    ...

  • ultragrampa Farmington, UT
    March 5, 2014 10:38 a.m.

    The article includes the quote "Without him we’ll break, but with him we’ll break through."

    It is a beautifully written article about a tremendous woman with incredible courage and inner strength. I wish, however, that those who feel Christ is their only way to happiness wouldn't use such statements to imply that those who do not so believe cannot be successful in life.

    The comment "without him we'll break" is not a fair statement to the vast majority of the world who do not so believe but who are leading happy, successful lives and who also work desperately hard to overcome adversity in their chosen way.

  • BlueEyesBrittany Paris, 00
    March 5, 2014 10:42 a.m.

    I personally have to come to the conclusion that, considering the current state of affairs between men and women, women are better off and safer living single lives than married ones.

  • Strider303 Salt Lake City, UT
    March 5, 2014 10:55 a.m.

    I'm with albertinamel.

    The event is tragic on many levels, lives changed in a moment to be sure. But the DesNews purports to be a newspaper, which implies objectively providing information of events.

    I read the story and concluded that it was too long, wandering and pandering to my emotions to reasonably conclude it belonged in a newspaper. At least as news, as written.

    Human interest, sure, but I should have known what I was getting into when I saw multiple pages.

    If you want, attach the lady's blog for those interested to read more. What really frosts my cookies is the society of today seems obsessed with disclosure of personal information ad nauseum for all the world to see, when in reality, not all of us really want to know.

    I know from where I speak. I lost my spouse in an accident, suddenly lives were changed. I learned that tragedies and major events in my life are, in reality, anecdotes in other people's lives. It is not that I don't care, it is just that I don't want to know the details of other people's lives in so much depth.

  • cavetroll SANDY, UT
    March 5, 2014 11:15 a.m.

    @JBQ

    "All that the new pope will say is "who am I to judge"."

    Way to take the pope's quote out of context. The pope was speaking about gays in the Catholic church and welcoming all into faith. Not about adultery or any thing else this article is about. I'm pretty sure the pope would absolutety condemn adultery and murder.

  • AngieFA Mexico, 00
    March 5, 2014 1:45 p.m.

    This story is sad in many ways but it also shows how the Savior is the only one capable of putting together the pieces of a broken heart. I know what betrayal is and as Ashlee I've had to forgive and move on. Forgiveness is not an easy process but it is possible when humbly we let the Atonement of Christ wash and clean the wounds in our hearts.

  • janesmith123 Portland, OR
    March 5, 2014 1:54 p.m.

    Forgiveness for those who have hurt your or your family is hard. I admire people who are willing and able to do so. I know it is something I am working on and I hope to truly achieve it some day.

  • K Mchenry, IL
    March 5, 2014 2:05 p.m.

    I don't believe pope francis has made a statement about this. Officially adultery and murder are sins. Repentance and forgiveness are required, even from the injured. The most important thing is people have what they need.

    One mans sin was adultery another murder. Are they really all that different? Just different names of turning ones back on God. Difference consequences due to the safety of the general public. I think the sentence was a bit harsh for a crime of passion. Prison, sure, but the number of years I question.

    If he were alive she would have still needed to share with her children some pretty ugly things in this world. This story is a clear example of the fact sin isn't private. Her grief would have been different had he not been killed. The other mans children have lost a wronged parent, though not as completely. Because their mommy did something wrong. Then their daddy did something wrong, only unchangeable.

  • patriot Cedar Hills, UT
    March 5, 2014 4:09 p.m.

    wicked world we live in...

  • netsrik Draper, UT
    March 5, 2014 5:28 p.m.

    @FDRfan

    "The sentence for Robert Hall was far too harsh"

    ??????
    Seriously? 30 years is too harsh for murder? I do NOT condone the adultery, and understand his anger, but to take this guys life was not the answer!
    Wow. Just...wow.

  • iron&clay RIVERTON, UT
    March 5, 2014 9:35 p.m.

    King David, Uriah's wife. .... Paradise lost.

    The memorandum came this last Priesthood Session of General Conference in the form of a subtle

    nuance when President Monsen told of the Good Shepard....

    "describing a LOVE more BEAUTIFUL than lust"

  • windsor City, Ut
    March 6, 2014 5:09 a.m.

    I have read a lot of her blog, which she just began a couple of months ago called The Moments We Stand.

    Was incredible what I have read so far.

    If you are having a hard time in your life, reading it will show you that you have much to be grateful about--and you will find ideas of how to cope and hang on.

  • Heart and Mind BUENA VISTA, VA
    March 6, 2014 6:58 a.m.

    What a melting pot of emotions this story has evoked. Thank you to all that have added your perspectives. As one who has experienced the betrayal of a spouse and also subsequently divorce and death, the death of the spouse is a much easier way to end things than living through the fall-out of a divorce for years to come. Both are hard, but I'd chose the quick death of the cheating spouse over the long-drawn-out agony of divorcing and then living with the continuing meddling and antics an unfaithful spouse.

  • AllBlack San Diego, CA
    March 6, 2014 7:41 a.m.

    This article is both positive and uplifting -mostly for women.

    With men its different in our culture. Men seem to be blamed first for the marriage breakdown or for not being good priesthood leaders at home or for not giving enough attention to his wife so 'she had to stray'.

    I've yet to see an article about a man recovering well from a wife's infidelity because up to now it seems that the best reaction to it is to do what Mr Hall did to avoid that 'looser' label.

    I hope deseret news finds a good example soon of a man recovering from infidelity to balance the score card.

  • Heart and Mind BUENA VISTA, VA
    March 6, 2014 7:54 a.m.

    @Strider303 & albertinamel

    Please note that this was an article by a columnist, not a Deseret News reporter. It is not "hard news' but subjective commentary. If you don't want to read LDS jargon you should get your news from the New York Times, which has its own jargon and slant. The Deseret News is not trying to be all things to all people; but serving a niche market. So don't fault them for not being what they don't want to be.

  • 1Observer Cottonwood Heights, UT
    March 6, 2014 8:44 a.m.

    Jason Wright is an author and not a reporter. He writes stories and writes them well. I found this story intriguing and enriching and a nice break from the news of the day. This isn't the first Jason Wright story to appear in the D-News so its style and content shouldn't be a big surprise to anyone. It is because of his style and content that I read his columns.

    As for Ms. Birk - a heroic story of overcoming adversity. Thank you for enduring and sharing. It is an inspirational story and an affirmation of the infinite power of the atonement.

  • Kinderly Riverdale, MD
    March 6, 2014 10:12 a.m.

    Forgiveness is the Answer--If you go to Ashlee's blog,you can find a link to the Dateline story. That tells more of Kandi's story. She ended up in jail for embezzlement, leaving two teenage daughters on their own.

    From the Dateline story, I draw a parallel here to The Great Gatsby. A bunch of irresponsible adults who make selfish decisions and don't think about the negative impact they'll have on other people. The drugs, too, were a factor in this story.

    I'm impressed by Ashlee's courage to move forward, to acknowledge the pain and look for happiness. She's very inspiring. It is fascinating to me, she seems to be mourning the loss of the person he was earlier in their marriage, the "good guy." She's awesome about helping her kids to love their dad and remember the good times more than the betrayal.

  • taraxopoios Lake Tapps, WA
    March 6, 2014 3:10 p.m.

    I find it interesting that a couple of readers have stated that men should not have agency and that it is better for a woman to remain single than to get married to a man because men are the only ones who commit adultery. It does not matter who seduced who, adultery requires two consenting adults. Otherwise that adultery is called rape. I am by no means defending Mr. Corrigan, but rather saying that what we have here is a stereotype saying that men are always at fault for adultery and women have no role in it.

    Kudos to Ashlee for her attitude in the face of this. Recovering from betrayal is difficult and she apparently has done a great job by relying on the merits of our Savior's atonement to get her through the anger, bitterness, hurt, and host of other emotions that come along with something like this.

  • MountainWoman Provo, UT
    March 13, 2014 4:42 p.m.

    Sad story. It is a miracle that Ashlee has been able to go on with her life and become such an inspiration to us all.

    For anyone interested in what happened to Kandi Hall, I googled her name, and it looks like she has been arrested for grand theft - stealing more than $32,000 from the law firm and using it to "go to the mall, nail salons, and going out to eat." Sentenced to 14 years in prison. What comes around goes around.