Less than a year and a half of trying is hardly infertility. Really? Try going
through 5+ years like my husband and I. We wish we only had to try for a year
and a half. Way more couples go through YEARS of infertility, IVF treatments and
then some. According to all the fertility/pregnancy sites (trust me, I've
been there, done that, and doing that), infertility is classified as official if
a couple has been trying for at least a year and for those who have to go well
beyond this, it is compounded with years of tests, pain, operations and failed
IVF cycles (30% chance each round is the statistic fertility clinics try to
hide). It's heartbreaking on so many levels. To see people say they have
struggled with infertility when they are young and only tried for 16 months is a
huge insensitive slap on the face for many of us out there. It may come across
as harsh to criticize their tiny 16 months of trying, but it's the truth.
That really isn't long folks.
Infertility is infertility. I don't think we necessarily set a time limit
on it, nor is it a red badge of courage to be worn with flaunting pride.
@Globetrecker, I'm so sorry, truly am, that you feel so much pain from
this. I think, however, that your statement that this is a "huge insensitive
slap on the face" to you and others is also a huge, insensitive slap in the
face of this couple and any others who are, though in a shorter period of time
than you, experiencing infertility. My own son and his wife have been trying for
two years. I do not think you can be judge on whether you have experienced or
are experiencing more heartbreak than they. And even if you are, I do not think
that your situation gives you license to be so judgmental nor to place you in a
higher plane than my son and his wife or this couple.
It's obvious Vladhagen has not experienced it him/herself. Infertility is a
much longer struggle for many couples than 16 months. Only after 12 months of
trying do doctors suggest seeing them. It's not a badge of courage, it is
heartache that no one understands unless they have experienced it first hand. It
is a loss of the hope for a family, and real grief over medical conditions that
no one experiencing the physical pain of operations, probing, financial expense
and isolation that no none would ever be prideful about. Going through IVF and
having it fail is incredibly hard.
Cute video in any case. What a fun idea.Congratulations to these two,
soon to be three!
I don't think it is anyone's right to judge their level of suffering.
Infertility is hard regardless of how long you are trying, and @Globetrecker I
would think that as you have dealt with it, you would be kinder to this couple
rather than just spewing angry words. Rather than belittling their pain because
it was a shorter time frame than yours, rejoice that they were blessed after
only 16 months. One of my friends struggled through infertility for 12 years,
and ended up divorced because of it, and I am sure you would be hurt if she told
you your five years were nothing compared to her 12. You say yourself, "it
is heartache that no one understands unless they have experienced it first
hand" so why don't you remember that heartache and show a little
I love their creativity. What a fun way to announce to family and friends that
they are expecting. Whether they struggled with infertility 16 months or longer
seems silly to argue. Many know the feeling of wanting to have children and not
being able to do so. I'm just happy that they will get to experience the
joys of parenthood. Positive and entertaining stories in the news are always a
welcome change. Congratulations!
My wife and I have experienced it for 7 and it still saddens me; however, I am
in no place to judge them and say that they have no idea. Congratulations to
this wonderful couple.