I have full custody of my kids with no Mom in the picture. I work all day, and
my nights and weekends revolve around the little people that are most important
in my life. No dating, no hobbies, no down time. After several years filling a
traditional Mom's shoes, I've never been happier or felt more
fulfilled.With that said, I wish we could be honest that there are
both good and bad stay at home mothers, rather than making a blanket statement
that it's always better for the kids to be home. I have two busy sisters
who exemplify what a dedicated stay at home mom can achieve, and their kids
thrive being around them. However, there are many stay at home moms that plop
their kids in front of the TV while they spend their day focusing on things
they'd rather be doing. I've seen that kids are better
off, happier and achieve more at a good preschool than with a mother that
isn't fully engaged. We should acknowledge that some women just don't
want to be there, and stop making them feel guilty if they go work.
crazyfam: It's true you get varying degrees of engagement among
stay-at-homers, but that's like stating humans breathe oxygen. And what
would be the point? There are a lot of terrible employees in the professional
workforce, and most jobs are dull and unfulfilling, but someone's gotta
earn a living, too. The point of this article was to complain about
people who assume that Stay-at-home moms are bored, and not doing anything of
merit--and you want to bring up that there are some that fit that stereotype.
You kinda missed the point...
@raybies - Stole the words right out of my...hands! @crazyfam10 -
"However, there are many stay at home moms that plop their kids in front of
the TV while they spend their day focusing on things they'd rather be
doing." I think the argument can be made that those women
aren't really "mothering" their children. Motherhood, like any
other job, requires a lot of effort and commitment and (like any other job) some
people don't have that level of commitment. Just like there are bad
accountants, bad store clerks, bad programmers, etc. there are some bad mothers
out there too. I think the point of this article (like so many others) is that
those women who choose to stay at home and devote themselves to raising their
children shouldn't be looked down upon, or viewed as non-productive members
of society.I just wish society would see SAHM's for what they
are: as women who've chosen to be selfless and put others' needs
before their own.
Excellent article and very well said!
Just re-stating...just because you are a stay-at-home mom doesn't mean you
After 27 years in the workforce I became the stay at home dad while my wife
worked.It was very rewarding and very difficult. Shopping, cleaning, taxi
service, family appointments...I learned about all the hard work my wife
had done for years.And I didn't even have toddlers at home. All the
kids were in school all day and there were no diapers or late night feedings. So
I had a far easier task than my wife.Yeah, women work hard at home.
Stay at home Moms are awesome. They do so much good for the world. But working
Moms are great as well. Why is there a need by BOTH sides to claim
that they are better? Or that they are making the right choice?Some
people are better off/happier staying at home. While others are happier/more
fulfilled while working.There is no right answer. The world is not
black and white.Do what works for YOU.
"What do you do all day?" a question important only to people who
think you are what you do or you are how much money you make.
In my area, it's far more common for stay at home moms to criticize and
judge working moms than the other way around. When my kids were young, I would
get smug, judgmental looks and comments all the time from people who thought it
was their business to tell me how awful I was for working.
I was a stay at home mom for many years before going into the work force with a
very good salary and a job that could have been a wonderful career. I loved
having people thank me for every little thing I did, getting an hour to myself
for lunch, and having people ready to get me anything I needed. I was living a
dream. When I got home I saw the incredible vacancy of support a stay-at-home
mom gives to her family. The list is too long to print here. The worst part was,
my kids had already been home from school for 2 hours, and they didn't come
running up to me to tell me all about their day. After 4 years, of working full
time I realized how much I was missing out on and I wanted to be at the
crossroads again. I quit my job and went back to my chosen career even though my
husband did not have a job at the time. I will never regret that decision. I
think we need to stop asking women how they feel about working verses staying
home, and start asking their children.
I think women need to support each other more and just stop arguing about who
loves their children more, or who is a better parent, or who works harder, or
who contributes more to the family. I guess I am just weary of the same argument
over and over again replayed with each generation. I have been both a stay at
home mom and a working mom. It was not until I started working that I understood
that some of my ideas I had during my stay at home life were just as judgemental
and hurtful as the comments I heard from other mothers who had different
circumstances than me. I have not lost hope that someday we can all be a little
less defensive and more caring and compassionate toward ALL mothers. What a
stronger community we would have. There will always be stupid comments from
people on both sides. If we are content and peaceful about our decision, them
dumb comments from others should not even register and be easy to ignore.
Unfortunately, women are particularly good at guilt.. Both giving it and
If the Deseret News is embarking on publishing material from the blogs of talk
radio hosts, I pray for the days when we will read the thoughts from former KNRS
host Bob Lonsberry. He is a devout Mormon, quick witted, opinionated,
conservative, and a veteran columnist. And he probably will work
for cheap!His website is really easy to find if you want to contact
him!Utah needs more Lonsberry!
To moms everywhere, thank you.
Staying at home and raising a family is important work. Liberal Democrats, who
have an agenda to destroy the family, have long been proponents of women working
outside the home. It generates more tax money for them and it will cause the
need to employ more people in the government. I understand that there are
reasons women may have to work outside the home, but any woman working for a low
wage that also pays for child care, and a second car so she can drive to work,
and better/more clothing, and eating out because she is tired is fooling
themselves because they wind up spending about what they can take home. It make
sense for a professional woman to work, but it does not make sense for everyone.
There are a lot of comments that are about, "What's wrong with my
worthy approach to parenting?" Matt correctly focuses on the "elephant
in the room." Must we elevate ourselves at the expense of others? No. But
the idea that men can nurture or that women can find fulfillment outside a
traditional family is NOT what the article is about.The blog post is about
disrespecting the role of Motherhood. Women, do what you will, but
don't be unsure of yourself. You don't need to snipe at other women
who make different choices. Remember that the only way for society to
survive is if women make the choice of Motherhood. We must also acknowledge that
Motherhood is not just making babies, but rather, it is the worthy profession of
building new contributors to society. It is the best way to transform our world
into a better place.
To the author--the most humorous aspect of this article was when you would
deride those questioning you about your wife's stay at home status (as
condescending etc.) and yet the tone of your own responses are so clearly
defensive. With a little re-writing, you could rework this into a hilarious
Amen, Matt! Obvious that some of the posters here missed your point(s) so
eloquently made. And they missed some of the obvious ones, too.@xert
You are one of them.