As an adoptive mom I must say that the high numbers were not because of a supply
of children needing families getting into the adoption process quickly. Many of
those programs closed for good reason. Guatemala being the most easy example.
Corruption was rampant. Lots of babies kidnapped and sold into the system. Who
wants to tell their son or daughter they were kidnapped or their parents tricked
or their parents were pressured into placing? That their birth was hidden from
their dad so bio mom could decide? Adoption needs to be about bio
father and bio mother placing their child into the family of another because
they decide they are not ready to parent their child at the momentl It is a
misfortune that a child not stay with the family they were born in and that
parents don't get the pleasure and satisfaction of being able to parent the
children born to them. There will always be children needing a family.
What is wrong with all the kids in this country that need a family? Just
curious. Don't hearts bleed for them as well? There are always articles
and news programs you see about all the kids in our own country that need a
family. Why don't we want to help our own first?
Fullypresent,An orphan, homeless child, and even an abused child in
the United States has far more opportunities, tools freely available, and people
willing to teach them how to be successful (as long as they are willing).
I'm not saying it's peachy for these children, it isn't. But we
need to address the biggest need areas before working on the next step up, line
upon line.To patch up a penny-sized hole on a boat, and ignore the
football sized whole in the back, just doesn't make sense. If
one kid hasn't had water for 2 days, and another hasn't had it for 3,
without other factors would you give priority to the 2-day kid just because they
live in your country? If so, that's fine, but how do you justify it? I
can't think of a good reason. American children aren't more deserving
just because they were born to American citizens. If you disagree with that,
then I have to think that is the start of inequality.I'd be
happy to be wrong, I just don't see how it can be justified any other way.
It is interesting that this article examines bureaucratic factors as a
"problem", similar to how over-regulation is seen to have a deleterious
effect on business in a neo-liberal economy. As an adoptee returned to his place
of origin, this focus on the economic and political is welcome, since it points
out what truly underlies the business of human trafficking that we
euphemistically refer to as "adoption". Your advocates will neglect to
admit that it is anti-adoption activism that is cutting into adoptions—on
the adoptee as well as original family side—as the mythology of family
creation gives way to an awareness of the societal inequalities that allow
adoption to take place. These formerly unheard voices deserve more of your
attention than those who take advantage of them in order to "save"
foreign souls and feather their nests. This is an underlying "pyromaniac
firefighter syndrome", and its days are numbered. The sooner we focus on
these inequalities, the sooner we will benefit all children, not just a select
few. And thus our priorities which would reveal whether we are only thinking
about ourselves, or else truly about our communities, our place, and indeed the
Those strongly opposed to birth control and abortion in this country should look
to reduce the costs and legal hurdles associated with adoption.Make
Adopting American babies fast, inexpensive, painless and permanent.
What does it matter where the child is adopted from? People don't adopt
cause their hearts bleed. They adopt because they want to parent another child.
If you see a need to adopt from here do it. The kids in this country
have relatives they are legally attached to. In this country there is no shame
in being a single parent dad or mom. This is good. In this country you may have
children whenever you want to. Children should remain with parents or family and
people they know whenever possible. You know there really
aren't orphans anymore in the sense that parents have guardians appointed.
Even abroad most countries tackle the problem of poverty by separately housing
children away from their families in the name of charitable efficiency. Many of
those are mistakenly labeled orphan. There are no epidemics where tens of
thousands die of global flu bug.
As a 72 year old adult adoptee, I have been part of the adoption reform movement
in Texas. Our laws governing adoption are antiquated. They were part of the
1930's socialist movement in the U.S. The center piece has been the sealed
records which was supposedly "in the best interest of the child." In
reality it has been in the best interest of socialist principles because even as
an adult, an adoptee has to go through a torturous process to receive their
original birth certificates. Unimaginable social pressures and legal obstacles
are placed before the adult adoptee just to obtain their own records. Many
sorted common practices of reputable adoption agencies have been covered up by
the sealed records over the past 70 years. I suggest all professionals and
members of the adoption triad read "The Girls That Went Away" by Ann
Fessler. It is a profile of numerous young women who were exploited by forced
adoptions. I have met some of these women. The system needs to be changed.
There will always be children who need to be adopted, but the system must be
"Adoptions on the decline, advocates blame costly, time-consuming
regulations." So telling about American society! What should be costly and
regulated are abortions! 180 degrees out of phase!
James Dobson of Focus on the Family did a series on the sad state of adoption in
the USA a few years ago and blamed the existing Federal and State bureacracies
for the mess: Simply put, it is next to IMPOSSIBLE for Americans to adopt
American kids because of the regulations and unbelievable costs involved. The
bureacracy makes more money when kids are kept in FOSTER CARE instead of being
allowed for adoption.Several of my friends have endured years of
heartbreak and tens of thousands of dollars in expenses trying unsuccessfully to
navigate the adoption process. It is MUCH less expensive and time consuming to
adopt from some foreign countries. It's that simple.This article
does accurately state much of the problem lies with the desire for babies
instead of older children...
@Fullypresent I think the later comments well explain the
frustration leading to international adoption. I agree with you, though, that we
should care for the children 'in our own house' (figuratively
speaking) first. @I Know it. I live it. I love it.I
think the appropriate metaphor for Fullypresent's concern is how can a
parent feel justified in focusing and giving all her time to another's
children while leaving her own in neglect?I don't know much
about the adoption process but it sounds as though we need to do some
house-cleaning first to make sure our own children are cared for and then we,
and they, can turn outwards to help the rest in need. The more everyone does so
(all nations, as it seems many are beginning to do), the more that all children
will be taken care of.
Yea, we have a hypocritical process. A short time ago, a couple was busted for
attempting to "sell" their child for survival money -- willing to sign
just about anything. The child was taken --- to be sold (oops -- adopted out)
for a ridiculously higher amount of "fees".
@Mountanman: "What should be costly and regulated are abortions! 180 degrees
out of phase!" Even you must see the futility of this logic but if not let
me give you a clue. There are already (too) many children waiting/in need of
adoption, reducing abortions most likely only increase that number.Now all you ANTI-choice folks, here's your opportunity to put your money
where your mouths are, c'mon step up to the plate and take on these kids.
With the number of children waiting for adoption growing it paints the
ant-choice crowd as folks who do not truly believe the propaganda that they
International adoption is rightfully declining because it's a system filled
with documented and on-going patterns of adoption agency corruption, baby
stealing, child trafficking, coercion of the biological parents and legal
violations. The corruption and abuse are so widespread and pervasive that nearly
half the 40 countries listed by the U.S. State Department as the top sources for
international adoption from 1995-2008 temporarily halted adoptions or were
prevented from sending children to the United States.Like Wall
Street brokerage firms, international adoption agencies make huge profits
brokering children. Time to end the tax credit for international adoption!
Hey Bob A. Bohey, I bet every day you wake up and thank the stars that somebody
who was pregnant with you decided to choose life instead of having an abortion.
I know it. I Live it. I Love it.:: We need to help our own
citizens before we help those in other countries.
There are plenty of willing families, who can afford to raise a child, who
nevertheless can't come up with 10-20-40K to adopt a child. The whole
system is screwed up, from the abortion industry, to the foster system, to the
international mess. Any given child who is living in a nightmare doesn't
care about all this red tape and expense. They just want it over - to have a
loving permanent family.My dad was adopted in the mid 1930's -
his family went to an orphanage and brought him home. By today's standards
I suppose it was horribly unsupervised - but he got his family and got out of
there. I was adopted privately in the 60's - and I cost less to adopt than
my parents paid for the c-section deliveries of my brothers. When I had
infertility issues - our only option was foster/adopt. We started the process -
but after getting a social worker (in CA) who we suspected belonged in a very
warm afterlife, we decided not to put ourselves through the invasive, demeaning,
horrible treatment any further.
We are in the Foster-to-adopt program, the only possible way we could afford
adoption; even then the regulations are at times stifling. If that extra
bedroom is just three or four square feet too small, you may not qualify. I recognize that regulations are set in to place to ensure healthy
living situations, but sometimes our capacity has been questioned because we own
a cow. And if we own a cow, it must be because we are some sort of anarchists
who believe the world is coming to an end, and therefore, we probably shun
doctors, which means that foster children in our care might not get the
necessary medical attention. Sometimes the hoops are endless.What
would be wonderful is some common sense (which apparently isn't all that
common) and some reasonable guidelines that encourage participation rather than
scaring off potential parents who are badly needed.
You need to prove pets are up to date on immunizations. Most people don't
own a cow. So what other things besides immunizations should be considered? When
you foster the state is the parent. The reason you need 35 square feet of floor
space per child in a bedroom properly segregated by gender over age 8 is in the
past when foster or adopted kids were put in smaller quarters those fostering or
adopting them were doing so for labour or some sinister purpose. It's all
because of the actions of bad people, and regulations are in place. As for the money. If you live in many states you would need $12,000 a year in
infant day care expenses and adding a child to medical for the first time means
you are paying family premiums of 3k, a bio baby means you will reach out of
pocket for the year 7k. You also would be saving for college or at the time
other are in college having to come up with 20k a year for four years in a row.
With the time it takes to adopt the money gets saved.
Follow the money. As I mentioned before, I have been part of the adoption
reform movement in Texas. Every time we went in to testify for a bill, the
agencies had a lawyer there to testify against us. The agencies are very
powerful politically. They get money from corporations which sponsor fund
raisers, from birth mother's parents, and the adopting parents. This is
all in the name of the best interest of the child. Adoption is big business.
Adoptees even lose their US citizenship when they are adopted to parents in
other countries. The birth mother is never told. What little information she
is told is often a half truth or an out and out lie. When sealed records are
opened to adult adoptees, all the cover ups are discovered. These secrets are
what they need to protect.
to Bob A. BoheyI don't know your source for the claim that
there are (too) many children waiting for adoption. But assuming that's
true. Shouldn't the process be efficient enough to encourage good families
to adopt?If your solution is to kill them before their born then sorry but
I'm not in your camp.
@Brave Sir Robin: Yes, I do. But I also believe that the choice is the
woman's and each woman and situation is unique. @atrulson:
IMVHO if there is 1 child who needs a family and is waiting to be adopted that
is 1 child too many. I do not propose we kill them all. In an ideal world
there's be no abortion. I was responding to what I felt was a knee jerk
reaction, anti-choice comment. It's been my experience that many on the
anti-choice side simply spout their religious/moral beliefs but do nothing else
but rail. I agree with you that for children waiting to be adopted and for would
be adoptive parents that the system should be as efficient, financially viable
and transparent as possible.
I just read this amazing column written from the perspective of an adoptee who
spent most of his childhood trying not act like he was adopted. It's a
touching story.Adoption is such a beautiful thing. We need to figure
out a way to make it easier for loving, prospective parents to adopt children
who are in dire need of love and affection.
"Less than 15% of all children in foster care will be adopted. There were
57,000 children adopted from foster care during Fiscal Year 2009, but there were
twice as many-115,000-waiting to be adopted on September 30, 2009.There are close to a half-million children in the United States who are in
foster care at any one time. Some are in foster care for only a brief period of
days or weeks before being returned to their families. But almost a quarter of a
million will remain in foster care for a year or more. Nearly 50,000 will stay
in foster care five years or more, while 30,000 will remain there until they
reach adulthood."Annual state and federal expenditures for
foster care total more than $9 billion under Title IV-E of the Social Security
Act alone. Even more money is spent for publicly-subsidized medical care for
foster children and food stamps, cash welfare, and child care payments to the
families that care for them. On top of that, there are longer-term costs that
society incurs because of the developmental risks associated with child
maltreatment and family disruption."(Brookings Institute)
With an estimated 55 million abortions having occurred in the USA there should
have been plenty of babies that could have been born and adopted out to
infertile couples in their own country. With the number of single mothers there
was potential, and still is, for plenty of adoptions from that source.However we have made abortion legal and supported single moms from taxpayer
dollars. No mother considering oborting her offspring has any incentive to give
birth or unmarried mother to give their babies to loving couples unable to have
babies of their own. I like reading the classic novel "Silas
Marner"; He discovers a baby near his cottage, a baby abandoned on a cold
night. He saves her life and gives her a home. When he discovers years later
that the local squire was the father, ashamed to own his fathering the child -
the mother an opium addict, he refused to give up the child, now a young woman
and the squire admitted he had the stronger claim and relinquished his own.
Simpler days! Preferable to the baby selling business of today's
authorities I venture to suggest.