I am one of those woman who got stuck in a relationship where I was paying for
all our dates even though the guy made more than me. So I just started making
simple homemade meals and we didn't go out on "dates" because he
didn't want to pay for it. We went to parks/beaches and walked around
enjoying each other's company. We eventually broke up but finances had
nothing to do with it but rather religious differences did.
I'd say in the initial dating stage, who pays is dependent on who does the
asking. When a woman asks me out, I go with the expectation that she's
paying, but I always offer. And, I always have appreciated it when I've
been the one who asked my date has offered to pay. As a relationship
progresses though, I see no reason why costs can't shared, but that's
really up to the couple to decide. Part of their "establishing open and
honest communication" needs to include speaking openly about finances. If
one party is always suggesting costly outings, but never offering to contribute
financially, then that needs to be addressed. Likewise, if one person is always
footing the bill for these outings, and is struggling to do so financially, they
need to speak up as well.
When I was single, I didn't mind (and actually preferred) paying, at least
early on in a relationship. I am a little old fashioned, I suppose. But at the
same time, it really bothered me when women "expected" to be asked out
on dates at the man's expense, but didn't bother to make themselves
any more attractive as a dating partner (and I don't just mean physically).
In my experience, most guys don't mind paying for dates at all, but find
it quite insulting when a girl feels and/or acts like she is entitled to being
treated to dates with no effort on her part or any show of appreciation.I was lucky enough to find a woman who is very easy to treat with love
and respect, in large part because she treats me with equal love and respect.
Sounds like chivalry really is dead
To: Johnny Triumph, Chivalry isn't dead; it is just on a really long
At Johnny Triump. So are suits of armor and white steeds.I am a big
believer in the person who asks being the person who pays.
When you talk of chivalry you are talking about the respect, care, and devotion
to attention a man gives a woman. Chivalry is never associated with women being
chivalrous towards men.Opening doors for women a few generations ago
had some social reason for it, they carried the babies and wore bulbous skirts
and dresses that had to be held down in wind and going in and out of doors in
cars and homes and business. Those were days when women were consider the fair
and gentle who needed help (physically) man to shield them from harm and
weather.But as for dating costs, its a double edged and equally
expensive process for both sexes. Women spend a lot of money on looks and
preparation that most men don't consider but we expect. I think that men
who expect women to pay are abusers and a bad risk for women. And
somehow 40 year olds dating to look for a mate doesn't have the same glamor
as when you are teenagers or under 20 and dating. What's really sad is
older relationships don't work or share or unify. Its a his and hers life.
That is only because so many men are boys - jobless losers living with mom &
dad.Real men pay.
2 cents. i will pay for any girl who wears a bulbous skirt on a date. At
least where I am from though, it would be the epitome of bad taste for a woman
to ask a man on a date and not pay. I know women put on make up or what not and
that costs money, but when I go out, I bathe ( water bill!), I shave (razor), I
brush my teeth(paste, brush) I put on something to enhance my smell........all
these things cost money for me as well. And no SJC, I am not living in my
parents' house. I am a salary man with an apartment of my own. But I still
expect that a girl pays sometimes.
I personally think that a man who's not willing to pay for a date, is not
I know this is an older article, but I just have to chime in that I absolutely
do not want women I date to share the cost.