It really boils down to whose interests are coming first. While there are many
single parents who are doing an amazing job with the circumstances they are in,
to intentionally have children while avoiding marriage is simply placing your
children at higher risk for all sorts of problems. We have too many children
raising children (despite the age of the parent.)
One thing I think I didn't recognize about marriage when I was in school
was that it wasn't something I could arrange without quite a bit of effort
on my part. I thinik most people grow up assuming they'll get married at
some point, and that it will all work out fine, but for most of us, that means
actually and deliberately going on dates and having a realistic outlook on
relationships. These ideal relationships and marriages don't
just happen, they are something cultivated over time--not just three years'
investment (as lady in story seems to think). Also, There are
stigmas associated with those who openly confess they are looking to get
married. Most Romanticcomedy movies portray a fiercely independent woman,
struggling to make her way in the world, who accidentally chances upon love.
When was the last time you watched a movie about a girl or guy who actively
pursued marriage by dating lots of different people, and that was the whole
point? Occasionally there's the movie about the girl who dates a bunch of
men for a science experiment, or to get famous, but never just for marriage.
This article is a good argument for allowing Same Sex Marriage throughout the
I don't think anybody (well, aside from those with self-esteem issues)
thinks that marriage is "too good for them". They just don't want
it for one reason or another.
I think Dilbert Cartoonist Scott Adams summed up this article best in
yesterday's National Cartoon. To wit: Dilbert was out with a Sweet young
thing. She was explaining to him that Men are redundant, especially in her life.
1.) She makes enough money working to have a comfortable life. 2.) If something
breaks in her house she either fixes it herself or hires somebody to fix it. 3.)
Men only tell Lame jokes and are flautuent 4.) She can have a baby without an
Icky man 5.) She has a Gardener to Mow her lawn. 6.) Dilbert Gets it in Upper
case letters 7.) Dilbert secretly begins dating a female robot with a bad
hairstyle. Bottom Line: Robots are less demanding than Modern Women.
How about this for a great wedding idea. Go to the justice of the peace or
courthouse in your regular clothes get married for $50 and let that be that.Put the thousands saved towards debt payment towards downpayment on a
house or towards an emergency fund.Weddings have too many frills and
are too expensive dare to be different.
We have a society that wants to make fun of traditions and "normal"
behavior.We are constantly being lied to by the media.They want to influence people to accept deviant behavior of all kinds.We are headed for a huge fall. I think they talk a lot about it in the
The 3 first commentors voiced very different points of view. And all are
valid.Marriage is becoming more complex by the year, as the trends
suggest. There used to be very clear roles for the husband and wife. And
society was family-oriented and supportive.In today's world
spouses are equals, doing all roles, both working, both educated, etc. Society
seems not-so-supportive.Finding an equal that you are compatible
with is a daunting challenge for many. Staying single seems to be a simpler and
wiser choice when you are focussed on your own goals and preparing for the job
market.We are even seeing an occasional Church leader that chose
singlehood (eg. Sister Dew).Another aspect is how will children do
in tomorrow's world? It's tough right now. The future looks evern
tougher. It crosses most young marrieds or singles that raising children will
take a tremendous effort.. For many of us that seems logical, but
tomorrow's society may not be child-friendly.Yes, marriage in
today's world is a greater challenge than you or I faced.
As an educator, I see everyday the problems associated with the lack of marital
stability in society. You can point out very easily which children have married
parents vs. those who don't. Believe it or not ladies, but it is the
father who makes the difference when it comes to discipline. Mom makes sure the
homework gets done and the assignments are in, but Dad makes sure the child
behaves him or herself so that the learning can begin....I see this again and
again each and every year.It is so terribly sad to see American life
as we know it crumble....we have only ourselves to blame.
["Who is going to visit a 90-year-old woman if they are not related to
them?" he asks. "Are you going to pay 'Julia' to do
it?"]And certainly gay and lesbian individuals deserve to have
that same opportunity when they're 90 as well. Some may still be
genetically related, but adoption also helps children when they're young,
and parents when they're old.
"I don't have the time to get to know someone for a year."bull.This is the great lie America is duped on right now.-I don't have time to spend with family-I don't have time to
cook real food, instead of eating unhealthy pre-made trash-I don't
have time for ___________Everyone I've ever heard say "I
don't have the time" has later quoted a recent T.V. they like or some
other avenue of time wasting that we all subscribe to. I could manage my time
better and I know it. I admit it. But I don't lie to myself about it to
pretend I can't seem to find time to do something important.We
all have the choice. Even if you are in the 1% that has to work 2+ jobs to
provide, there is a way to make time for family life. If you don't believe
me, believe the people who stand up in church and bear their testimony about how
they wondered how to accomplish something until they finally knelt down and
asked for help.John 5:30Mark 10:27"with God
all things are possible."
I guess if you hope things will always stay the way they used to be you'll
ever more be disappointed.
@Convert, you might want to ask Sister Dew if she chose to be single, or if she
would like to get married but things haven't worked out. I always wanted
to get married and dated frequently, but it didn't happen until I was 40.
I found that many were waiting for Brad Pit to join the church so they could
have the perfect man. Others are hoping that one of the Kardashian sisters will
do the same.How this article suggests that same-sex marriage is the
way to go eludes me. I think that too many people have built up in their minds
an unrealistic fantasy of how perfect married life will be; including a paid for
4,000 square foot home in suburbia within walking distance of both a chapel and
a temple. That might not happen, at least for a while. My wife and
I started off with little to nothing. A few children later, an old, refurbished
home and a second hand car and we think we are doing just fine. Its not easy,
but its worth it.
Why is it that everyone should get married and have kids. Isn't it
possible that some people are not cut out to get married or to be parents?this is not a one-size-fits-all world. Thankfully.Do what
you think is best for you and let others do what they feel is best for them.
I always knew that 'Leave it to Beaver', 'Andy Griffeth',
and the 'Sandlot' were scripts of a world far and away better than the
script that is being played out today. If Ward and June Cleaver weren't
real, then may I ever be blinded by what is real!
JoeBlow,Multiply and replenish... that's why. If people
can't have kids, that's one thing. But if people don't want to,
then they are foolishly refusing the greatest blessings anyone can have. A
parent who sees their children as such would have to agree and anyone else
isn't qualified to answer that question in the first place. So by all
means, multiply and replenish.
"...affecting the economic and personal well-being of whole classes and
segments of society...""...marriage confers large economic
benefits.""there may be a relationship between marriage and
how much people earn, how well their children do in school, their health and
even their happiness. ""Marriage is associated with longer
life, better health..."------------After all that, I
expect to see a Deseret News article anytime soon claiming that gays
shouldn't be allowed to marry because they're not deserving of any of
RanchHand from Huntsville says, "I expect to see a Deseret News article
anytime soon claiming that gays shouldn't be allowed to marry because
they're not deserving of any of the above."I'm pretty
sure most of these studies finding the benefits you mention only looked at
marriages between men and women. Many studies of this sort require long periods
of time, so the data on whether same sex marriage has similar effects is
probably not known yet. There is plenty of room, however, to make educated
guesses on this until the actual data comes in. It is not unreasonable to assume
the effects would be similar in several areas and different in other areas.
@ulvegaard"How this article suggests that same-sex marriage is the way
to go eludes me."If marriage is a good thing then keeping loving
couples from having it hardly seems beneficial for the institution. In effect
you'd be telling same-sex couples that marriage isn't important. You
know, those messages about how civil unions are exactly the same so what's
the big deal. Okay... if that's the case then why should anyone marry?
in a perfect dream all couples will marry , have children, be successful and
spiritual. in the world we live in this isn't the norm which is sad. to
many these days are having children out of wedlock and seem to not care.
marriage doesn't not seem important. when the celebs say 'i don't
need to be married to be in love and have children' this affects the public
view of marriage. also 'i don't need a piece of paper to prove i love
this person and have children'. children are affected in so many ways with
the worlds attitude. i am not saying all single parents are not setting good
examples but when a couple have a child or children and not marry there is not a
good base. if you are single parenting because of divorce or a death of a sweet
spouse then that is commendable . let's try to set the example of the
importance of marriage, fidelity, children, spirituality, unity, etc. same sex marriages are a disaster. i do not believe same sex marriage. the
world screams 'oh that is ok because they are in love'. no it is satan