"Fatherless sons"... hmmm.Many fathers, including LDS
fathers who are following the "Proclamation" and "providing" for
their families, spend so much time at their professions, they go for long
periods without seeing or meaningfully interacting with their sons. Add to that
all the time away from family that is spent on Church callings, and it is clear
that there are more absentee fathers than not.Although my parents
never divorced (there were times I thought they should have), my father was too
busy with work and Church callings to do much with me and my siblings. We
survived and turned out OK. There is always something to be angry about. Some
people may just target their absentee fathers. Growing up, I was never resentful
that my father had to work to provide for the family; but I was resentful for
all the time he spent in Church callings. I often thought "Just say No,
Dad!" But he never did.Today, my relationship with my father is
pretty thin - not much there. He does his things, and my siblings and I do ours.
I'm not sure his spending more time with us would have made any difference.
IM LDS 2: Cat's in the Cradle syndrome. So sorry for BOTH your losses.
But as Dr. Laura used to advise, you have two families in life -- the one you
were raised in and the one you get to create as an adult. I think that your
children will be all the more blessed due to your own father's error. Very
best wishes to you.
I certainly hope that the series will delve into WHY so many American children
(in particular, poor African-American inner-city children) are fatherless today,
and how that social trend can be changed. If Ann Romney were the FLOTUS today,
her platform would have been “Get married BEFORE you have children”,
truly some of the best advice any woman, poor or otherwise, could be offered.
Incidentally, the problem of fatherless daughters is a big one too.I'm a BIG believer in diversity. I think the reason we (humans) do
better, generally, when parented by having involvement with **both** our fathers
and mothers is because there are cognitive and emotive differences, generally
speaking, between men and women. Children absorb all sorts of things and are
benefited by being nourished, at an early age, by being exposed to and observing
the sometimes very subtle clues presented to them by **both** their father and
mother.Obviously, having both parents is often, and sometimes
unavoidably, not the case for many children. That unfortunate fact has no
effect on value of having both parents in one's life when it is possible.