Thank you. Makes me think.
The main message I take from this very sad/hopeful/tragic/happy story is the
vital importance of familial relationships to the formation of human beings.We **must** do better at promoting solid, committed, **long-term**
relationships into which children are born and raised. That once was a pretty
good definition for the ideal marriage. Unfortunately, following a trend that
seems to be accelerating, the value placed on marriage has been dramatically and
tragically diminished.Turning the current trends around is a
difficult task. But, there are no real alternatives. Nothing less than the
future of humanity depends on reestablishing the values on marriage and family
that were once common place and routine.
The need to make it easier for people to adopt. Having to be home schooled
before they will even look at your request is stupid.
This is truly a sad situation, but the numbers are deceiving. The majority of
the older kids who age out of foster care are in foster care due to their own
delinquent acts. Those kids are not eligible for adoption because their
parents' parental rights have not been terminated. Even if they were, few
people want to adopt kids who have felony convictions for drugs or violent
crimes. Those are the kids that really don't have much of a future.
Dr. Groovey:Do me a favor and email me some sources on that. Because
that's not what I've been told at all. I'd love to look into it,
if it is, in fact, true.
So many people have misconceptions about foster children (i.e. Dr. Groovey).
They NO NOT enter the system because of something they did. They are removed
from their parents due to abuse and/or neglect. It's true that this
abuse/neglect often results in poor choices/behaviors by the child, but those
behaviors are a result of the child's experiences. Unless you have walked
in the shoes of these children, it is very difficult to truly understand what
they have gone through. --continued on next comment
I am a foster parent and have heard some of the most gut-wrenching stories from
these kids (or read about these experiences in their files). My 9 year old
adopted child has experienced more than most adults. Yes, she has some bad
behaviors, but those where survival skills -- she was in the foster system from
age 2-8. It will take many many many years for her to feel fully secure (if she
ever does!). As adults we need to stop judging these kids and blaming them for
things that were out of their control. Not everyone is in a situation to foster
or adopt a child, but EVERYONE can step in and help them in some way. Before
condoning them, please spend time trying to understand the hurt that have
experienced! Or, better yet, offer to mentor one of these "lost" kids
and help them grow into well adjusted, successful adults. Many of these
children have NEVER had positive role models--> be one!
Having fostered many kids and adopted 6 I can tell you that age doesn't
matter......We have 4 that have reactive attachment disorder. Our youngest of
the 4 came to live with us at 17 months of age and our oldest was only 6 years
old. There are many wonderful teens that need a home that are great kids. It
breaks my heart to think that these kids don't have a forever family to
come home to. We have been through a lot with our kids, but they are healing. I
would do it again....being a foster child does not make you a juvenile
delinquent. If we had a bigger house we would have more kids........
My wife and I are foster parents to 3 great kids and adopted one more last Dec.
We have 4 bio kids as well. Its been a tough sometimes to deal with the
emotional and other problems these children bring into our home, but they all
have made so much progress.I would encourage any good parents out
there to look at fostering. Its not for everyone. But if you have what it takes,
many of these kids could really benefit from your loving homes. There are so many children in need out there right now. Its sad to see some go
without the basics.Please help if you can.
Our adopted son has been the joy of our lives....we are so blessed that he came
into our lives.
For those who have adopted older kids what about costs? I have 5 kids of my own
but have a great job and room to spare. My wife and I have discussed adopting
siblings to add to our family but at $10k or more a piece for paper work, etc.
we simply woukld not be able to afford it. You would think bringing kids into a
loving home and eliminating a financial burden on the state would be enough to
allow cheap or even free adoptions of these kids. Where do you find good info
on how to go about the process?