It's a delicate subject. Personally, I have decided that if I am simply
passing on interesting info I've heard - it's usually gossip. If my
sincere intention is to bring about genuine aid, then it's legitimate.I've also been on the other side of the fence. I've had
people discussing concerns I've shared with them, only to have the details
become skewed with each passing mouth to ear and, well, it was an uncomfortable
situation. I tend to be very very careful when home or visiting teachers pose
the obligatory question of 'Is there anything we can do for you?'When we serve others it is also important that our motives are to
improve their situation and not to glorify ourselves. At this time of year many
of us like to get involved in Secret Santa for someone we think is down cast.
In our efforts to bless, we sometimes publicize their struggles and bring labels
to them which now only embarrass them. In these trying times, we are strapped
financially, but we don't consider ourselves especially needy. Having
someone play Secret Santa to us would be almost mortifying.
I am surprised that no one mentioned the Relief Society President. It’s
her job to know if people in the ward are in trouble and she has vast resources
at her disposal. She has the bishop’s ear and between the two of them
they can get priesthood help to get her yard in order and help her with food
orders if need be. The Relief Society sisters can help clean her house and bring
meals to her. I would never talk to anyone else in the ward about anything
personal such as is in this article. I would let the Relief Society President
know and offer to help. She can take it from there. It’s her job, after
If we are passing just the important facts to people that can help or who have
an ecclesiastical need to know, then it is less likely to be gossip. If we are
just sharing information, we are more likely to be gossiping.
Keep your noses out of other people's business.Church position
does not give you the right to violate that principle.
One of the best ways to counter gossip is to find ways to compliment and say
uplifting things about all people, regardless of who they are. This is difficult
to do if you know they have significant problems and can't get past it. But
one ways it see people not by what they are now, but what they may become. In
fact there was a great talk by Pres. Monson about this very topic in the last
General Conference. Good luck!
At least the woman in the story was concerned about gossiping in the first
place. I have not attended many wards outside of Utah, but I can say without any
hesitation that gossip mongering is a huge problem in Utah LDS wards. I am
aware of an LDS sister who has on multiple occasions called people in her stake
just to spread the latest dirt (real, imagined or fabricated) on people she does
not like. There has been blatantly forethought and malice behind her actions.
Sadly her husband either just turns a blind eye to what is going on, does not
have sufficient courage or integrity to confront his wife on the ugliness, the
out right lies and the destruction she is spreading. I am aware of
a another sister who has a compulsion to extract the deepest and most personal
secrets out of others and then turn around and tell everyone in her social
network about said secrets. The sad part is too many LDS embrace
these gossipmongers, partake of their fruits, and entertain themselves through
consumption and repetition of the fruits of these two gossip mongers & the
damage from their gossip is multiplied thereby.
hey 22ozn44ozglass, you're gossiping.