Fathers "giving their daughters away" are leftovers from when women were
property. My parents divorced when I was young. I think if they
had had a party I would have never wanted to party again. "Hard work and
emotions over?" They've only just begun. I am in my fifties now, and
the effects of my parents' split still hurt, from time to time.Families are eternal. Hence, the destruction of broken families had eternal
consequences. Can people "gird up their loins" and move on? Certainly.
I am more aware of the casualties of divorce and have thus made my marriage a
top priority. But I will never forget the day my parents split, nor the day he
took us for a drive to let us know that he was giving up custody, because he
couldn't afford child support. Being a kid in court. Having your birth
certificate altered to show that a new man is now your father. Family research
now show me to be a child born out of wedlock. Alienation from loved ones.
Fear. Loss of trust. Depression. These are not things to celebrate. This
article is in bad taste.
People who celebrate the tearing apart of a family are sick. Sure, if it is just
the couple - no children, celebrate all you want. But if you have children, as
you celebrate, your children are suffering in intense ways only they can
understand. It makes me weep to think of the untold suffering of children
because selfish adults only think of themselves.
Pathetic. A culture that celebrates divorce is not a good sign. Naturally, those
who stand to profit from such a celebration are going to push this cultural
poison and label it as a "freedom" event to make it sound like it is a
Wow, $25,000 for a divorce party? That's money down the drain for no real
good reason (imo).I kind of like the idea of the one with both
partners cutting the lemon cake and such, especially if they have children and
it lets the kids know that they'll still be involved in one another's
lives and such, but the whole idea seems like just another stupid expense.
The multiple ways that adults can be selfish at the expense of children are
We so quickly forget what we committed to when our lazy, selfishness gets in the
way.We need to stick together and keep the rest of the world from
ripping our family apart.Silly shortsighted parents who think they
are entitled to "freedom" are really only trading one set of problems
for a lot more.To throw a party for this only shows how truly lame
and twisted people are.
This simply speaks to a culture of selfishness. Your Marriage, Kids, Family and
everything else in the world is less important than YOU!! This attitude of
selfishness probably leads to many of the behaviors that lead to divorce. I
have heard true love defined as putting the needs of your spouse above yours.
If both parties truly tried to do that divorce rates would likely plummet.
Divorce unfortunately does happen but the consequences especially for children
are far reaching. To go out and celebrate a divorce is just warped, Inviting
your kids, even more so!!
My parents started having problems in their marriage pretty early on and tried
many different things over the years to make it work - including several rounds
of counseling and I think just about everything else. I first became aware of
their problems when I was 4 or 5. They divorced when I was 15.When
they finally decided to give up and get a divorce, things at home actually
improved. If I could have had a party to celebrate their divorce, I would
have.They were both able to find spouses who make them happy and the
lives of us children improved drastically once we had parents and step-parents
who were happy and able to focus on us instead of just constantly focusing on
holding together a marriage that failed almost as soon as it began.Sometimes staying together for the sake of the children does more harm to the
children than splitting up.
But will bakers refuse to bake divorce cakes because they consider it a
violation of their freedom of religion?(Satire)
Midwest Mom-What a heartbreaking story. I don't have an agenda and
certainly am not critiquing your experience. It seams the example of
sticking together for the kid's sake is more often used as a poor reason to
prolong suffering rather than one to find a way back to each other or for
working on your personal flaws that hurt the marriage. Your story makes my heart
hurt.I am not divorced and neither were my parents, but as I watch
close friends deal with custody battles, I wonder if I could be man enough not
to force my children to bounce between two different homes, schools and finding
friends? Is that the right thing to do after the divorce? Does it really matter
who's fault it was when you want the best for them? Perhaps their lives
will be better with you than with your spouse. Heartbreak all around..Side note: "Giving your daughter away" represents a fundamental change
in the relationship and potentially a very painful one for a father (and
mother). I do think that you're assigning a pretty narrow interpretation to
While divorce is certainly painful and potentially permanently damaging to
children it may be the best alternative. I've seen to many young LDS kids
get married then have a terrible marriage. Because their church and culture put
so much pressure on "eternal families" they treat marriage vows like a
proposal to go to the high school prom. Having a kid grow up in two healthy
households is a much better alternative to many of the dysfunctional Utah
households I have witnessed.
This is so very sad I can't think of anything else to say. Perhaps
grotesque would also be appropriate.
When my parents divorced when I was eight years old, I was devastated. Hardly a
thing to be proud of and have a party for. Just plain sad.
Just one more example of the tailspin our society is in.How very
@ FT - salt lake city, UT - "While divorce is certainly painful and
potentially permanently damaging to children it may be the best alternative.
I've seen to many young LDS kids get married then have a terrible marriage.
Because their church and culture put so much pressure on "eternal
families" they treat marriage vows like a proposal to go to the high school
prom."Comment:How does the LDS church putting
emphasis on the eternal nature/potential of families cause someone to treat a
marriage proposal as unimportant, ie, "like a proposal to to the high school
prom." Emphasizing the importance of marriage would do just that, emphasize
the importance of the marriage relationship, NOT cause someone to treat it
lightly. Sounds to me like you're throwing blame at the LDS church for no
valid reason.On a different note, I agree 100% with the general tone
of these comments: hosting a party to celebrate selfishness on the part of one
or both spouses (yes, selfishness is what ultimately causes divorce) is nothing
to celebrate.How far we have fallen as a culture.How
long, Lord, how long?...
This was...disturbing. Next, let's just have a piñata at a funeral,
shall we? (Sarcasm) I can just imagine what the children feel when this happens
to them. What would the parents be doing at this "party"? Fighting?
Sounds like "fun"! (More sarcasm)Our society is messed up.
It's that simple. Divorces should not be cause for celebration. It's
just....disgusting. That's really all I can think right now.