We have a miley cyress generation of haters out there.Can everyone
please stop the hate and start finding the good in everyone.So sad
to see this happen.
Lots of kids have been bullied through the centuries. Bullying was rampant in
my young years (1950's and 1960's), but we just endured the misery and
hoped for eventual relief. Only a small percentage commit suicide,
but this number seems to be rising over the last few years. Could this be
because we are giving our kids the message that they cannot survive low
self-esteem? This could easily be the message we give when we insist that
"everyone must be a winner." If so, then when kids become
hopeless of any improvement from their low self-esteem, they give up on life.
We should put our best efforts to curtail bullying, but we also need to
"immunize" our children against this emotional trap when it does occur.
Somehow, we need to convey the message that it is okay to have low self-esteem;
this too shall pass.
It's okay to have low self esteem?That is an oxymoron. You
need to be able to accept yourself (esteem yourself) in order to decide
it's okay to be different (or think you're different).
To gmlewis: The bullying is different now because the kids can't or
won't get away from the bully. With technology, someone can bully from
miles away. Schools used to be able to separate bullies from the students they
bullied and it worked ok (not great). Now most of the bullying happens outside
the school, outside the home and in the cyber world.
gmlewis, I'm afraid we have here a case of "Back in MY day
we were so much better . . ." I was a kid in the 70s, and some bullying I
endured still has left some lasting scars. Today's bullying? Ramp it up by
a factor of 10. Maybe your bullying wasn't so bad, or not to the extreme
levels children can inflict and endure now.We simply can't
compare the good old days to today. Everything is different, harder, and
tougher. What my kids have to sift through is nothing any of us had to deal
with. Be grateful your life was easier, then be helpful to the
rising generation who's facing nothing like you did.
Well, my comment is taking a beating. I was told that "surviving
low-esteem" is an oxymoron, which precisely proves my point. If children
think that they can't survive humiliating experiences, they are going to
give up on life when hugely humiliating experiences occur. I concur
that the impact of humiliation is greatly amplified by social media. However,
we must teach our children that humiliation, for whatever cause, is not worth
dying for. Give them hope that this can be endured, and resolved with time.
I'm suggesting that parents and teachers address this with children
proactively.We must be proactive, because despite our best efforts,
some bullying will occur. If we've taught our children to prepare mentally
for it when it occurs, they will have something to support them through the
I attended a school of rampant bullying of all kinds, but when I left school, I
went home to a ranch where we had no tv, and certainly no chance of
cyber-bullying. I knew that when I went home, I had my horses, cats and all
sorts of wonderful outdoor experiences. I looked forward to those hours and that
made the horrors at school seem less personally invasive. Also, I knew I was not
alone. I think my grandchildren are in an entirely different world, and I pray
for their strength and endurance all the time. I also try to be there if they
want to text, email or go on an outing. Still, I worry a lot because I have be a
substitute in schools where bullying was frightening beyond description, and I
didn't know what was going on at home in the social media. I feel terrible
for people of any age who are bullied and abused. We all need to do more to
address this problem that belongs to all of us.
@dwayne, did you read the article? Her mother began homeschooling her and
eventually placed her in another school. There is only so much you can do. The
problem was the cyber bullying. And being a bully for arresting the girls?
Please . . . @gmlewis, I totally agree with you and I have grown up
in this technological generation. Simply put, kids are not taught that they can
do hard things. Everything is handed to them and everyone is given trophies and
everyone is the best. They don't realize that they can overcome bullying
and rise above hardship and become something better. They think that "if
this person thinks this way about me it must be true, and it's not going to
get any better, so I may as well end it." That said, I believe it is the
responsibility of parents to instill in their children a sense of resilience
against the world. They should build up their self-esteem, but it shouldn't
always be by making everything easy and telling them how great they are. It
should be by pushing them and helping them realize their potential.
The trailer park and the barking Pit Bull caught my attention. The neighbours
comments about lack of supervision also. Why is it so difficult for parents to
understand that they have a duty and responsibility to their children and to
their community, to bring up good kids as a credit to their school, their city,
their state and their country?
DwayneI think your sentiment is part of the problem--"no one should
If we start with "let's blame the parents" then the next step is
"let's blame the school and the teachers" for failing to intervene.
Then we can "blame the police" for not acting soon enough. I'm sure
we can blame Congress if we think about it long enough. If the two
girls committed a crime, keeping in mind that almost all children bully at some
point - just ask any teacher - then maybe an intervention by the police is
warranted. But remember they are age 12 and 14. Do we want the cops involved
every time our children call someone a name at school? Or is it only a crime if
someone commits suicide as a result? Are we going to have the police
prosecute only select cases? Based on what criteria?
Let's try that againDwayneI think your sentiment is part of the
problem. No one should be responsible except the kid who committed suicide?
Really?!This unrepentant bully is a bad kid, period. She should suffer the
consequences of her actions. It cost a life. And if her parents knew she was
bullying a weaker kid, then yes, they too should be held responsible.
That's not bullying. That is justice.