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Letters: 'It's OK to Plan'

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  • Furry1993 Ogden, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 4:39 a.m.

    Every woman, regardless whether she wants a small, medium or large family, needs to plan her pregnancies. Pregnancy puts a lot of stress on a woman -- physically and emotionally. For a woman's physical and emotional well-being, pregnancies need to be spaced at least 2-3 years apart to give her body time to recover from the last pregnancy and delivery before starting another. Any closer together than that can cause some real problems for her.

    Another idea -- if she wants a large family, why not have two biological children (to replace the parents) and then adopt one or more of the many children who do not have parents. That would be a win-win decision for all involved (especially the children who would then have homes). Just a thought.

  • 4word thinker Murray, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 8:02 a.m.

    Having a large family is an equally valid choice, but it is shunned throughout most of the US and much of the world. Perhaps we need billboards assuring its OK to have a large family. I bet Susan Soleil and the UPEC members would be up in arms at billboards promoting large families.

    Perhaps everyone should MYOB and we wouldn't have some people insulting other for their choice of family size.

  • Mike Richards South Jordan, Utah
    Aug. 30, 2013 8:18 a.m.

    Had my wife and I used someone else's idea of what kind of income we needed to raise children, we would have limited ourselves to one child. Seven of our children would not have been born. Seven lives would not have been invited to experience mortality. Seven spouses would not have married into our family. Many grandchildren would not have been born. The wonders (and sorrows) of life would have been missed.

    I would have stayed in a job that provided for one child. I would never have "streched" my knowledge and abilities until I was able to provide for eight children. I would have missed out on the miracles that happen when we walk by faith.

    Some of our children have large families. Some have chosen to limit their families. That is their choice. My wife and I do not meddle in the "family planning" of our children.

    The billboard is just another "signs of the times" that were prophesied. God does not use billboards to remind us of covenants, instead, He sends the Holy Spirit to teach and advise, to answer those very personal questions that parents ask.

  • The Real Maverick Orem, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 8:23 a.m.

    Too many people don't plan.

  • twinfallsid TWIN FALLS, ID
    Aug. 30, 2013 8:40 a.m.

    "...Utah Population and Environment Coalition talked with young people who told us they had not heard that it was OK to plan a small family."

    It's all in the wording. My teenage sons have been told that family size is up to them and their future spouse, but especially take into consideration their wife's feelings since it effects her body. I just asked them is it OK to plan a small family. They shrugged their shoulders and said basically, I don't know yet, I'm not married yet. So, it's a decision they'll make with their spouse. Would that be taken as a "no" answer? Were you asking young singles? Ask young married couples.

    In her use of words, the letter writer makes us believe that most of us are not smart enough (like her and her coalition) to have "gasp" planned ahead to have more than 2 children. I'm sure she means well, but when someone comes across as more enlightened then us other silly parents, it's just insulting. My children will have as many children as they think is appropriate for them.

  • Hutterite American Fork, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 9:10 a.m.

    It is ok to plan. And it's important to not let anyone else usurp your choices in life.

  • Cincinnatus Kearns, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 9:29 a.m.

    Gee Mike Richards, thanks for another sermon.

    It's okay to plan. It's okay to have smaller families. Modern life is complicated and expensive. Does somehow having eight children make you better than me for having five? Or make me better than someone having two? Eight children was your choice. You claim it made you a better person. Fine. That doesn't make the rest of us inferior to you.

    Even the LDS Church has stated that it's okay to plan- that it's up to the husband and wife to decided what they can handle physically, financially and emotionally. You seem to be stuck in a time from 30 or 40 years ago (or 100 years ago). Even if you don't want understand that some things are different today than when you got married and began having a family, quit sermonizing to the rest of us.

  • HaHaHaHa Othello, WA
    Aug. 30, 2013 9:58 a.m.

    Oh oh, quiet everyone, someone in Kerns is developing an inferiority complex! Give me a break! I enjoyed the Mike "sermon", much more then I cared for the Cinncinatus sermon...but I'm sure thats not a big surprise. Funny how some are so obvious about the double standard? I also think you might want to brush up on the LDS doctrinal view of family planning. Technically you're probably not wrong, but much more to it then what your trying to claim. Don't mislead, I've never heard a prophet say, that the idea of multiply and replenish has been revoked. Kind of suggests that the issue is not just up to our own self centered feelings...there is some responsibility involved, along with person genuine faithful inspiration. Excellent comments by 4wordthinker!

  • LDS Liberal Farmington, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 9:59 a.m.

    @Mike Richards
    South Jordan, Utah

    Some of our children have large families. Some have chosen to limit their families. That is their choice. My wife and I do not meddle in the "family planning" of our children.

    ========

    And that's all this billboard is saying.

    It's none of yours or anyone else's business.

    BTW - Mike,
    I saw a Salt Lake Newspaper from 1863 at the Church History Library Wednesday.

    Top Headline banner --

    Brigham Young said - and I quote - the Mormon Motto is:
    "Mind your own business"

  • Cincinnatus Kearns, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 10:28 a.m.

    @HaHaHaHa

    Your screen name reflects what your comments made me do.

    I'm just an individual who grows tired of certain people declaring that their personal and religious philosophy is best for everyone and gives Sunday sermons about it here on the comment boards.

    "Technically you're probably not wrong, but much more to it then what your trying to claim. Don't mislead, I've never heard a prophet say, that the idea of multiply and replenish has been revoked."

    I never stated that any prophet of the LDS Church stated that that commandment was revoked. But, from the Church's own website:

    "When husband and wife are physically able, they have the privilege and responsibility to bring children into the world and to nurture them. The decision of how many children to have and when to have them is a private matter for the husband and wife."

    So, "technically" I'm not wrong- but then you decided to put words in my mouth and accused me of misleading. That reflects more on you than me. But, what do I know- I'm just from Kearns and apparently have an inferiority complex.

  • LDS Liberal Farmington, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 11:00 a.m.

    @Cincinnatus
    Kearns, UT

    LDS church website:
    "The decision of how many children to have and when to have them is a private matter for the husband and wife."

    =======

    Thank you. - I tried 4 times a few days ago, but was "denied".?

    Meanwhile – I was attacked for supporting the LDS Brethren, not once, but twice – and NEVER said ZERO pollution or "Don't have children..." another half-baked, twisted lie.

    proof:

    Kora
    Cedar Hills, UT

    LDS liberal- What you are saying is that you are LDS, but oppose the LDS Church when it has advocated for large families, and actually think the leaders have been wrong in this area. That doesn't add up to me.
    • 4:28 p.m. Aug. 26, 2013

    2 bits
    Cottonwood Heights, UT
    LDS Liberal,
    He instructed his Adam to "multiply and replenish the earth". I don't think that was a zero-growth instruction. And I don't remember him changing his mind on that.

    When you say, "Don't have children"... are we encouraging what he made this earth for? Or when you say, "Don't have children"... are you fighting AGAINST his expressed purpose for this earth?

    •10:18 p.m. Aug. 26, 2013

  • The Hammer lehi, utah
    Aug. 30, 2013 11:16 a.m.

    The billboard smacks of bigotry toward one group. It was meant to grab peoples attention and get greater publicity. And what better way to do that than a-slap-a-mormon-in-the-face-campaign.

    Everyone wants people to be smart about having a family but too many people don't have children because they want to play instead. Children require work and its stressful and it keeps you from going to Hawaii every year because you have to get a minivan instead of a motorcycle. This type of attitude is the problem, not peoples desire to have a large family.

    As far as who this campaign should be directed to is high school students who don't abstain from sex and end up with a kid. But instead of telling kids to wait until they get married and encouraging marriage and a family they mainly just encourage sexual activity with no responsibility. It doesn't work and its obvious as I see more and more young women with out a man to support their child come into my office in the worst form of poverty.

  • atl134 Salt Lake City, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 11:30 a.m.

    You all seem to be forgetting something... planning means things like using birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancies. You know what unwanted pregnancies often lead to? Abortions. This campaign helps reduce abortions by working to prevent the most common thing that leads to one. But you pro-lifers are too busy advocating quiverful nonsense to pay attention to it.

  • HaHaHaHa Othello, WA
    Aug. 30, 2013 11:33 a.m.

    @ Cinncinatus

    Thanks for your second sermon...love that double standard. I know your morals and standards are more important and valuable then the rest of us! I didn't even use this word in my first post, but thanks for reminding me. It is a COMMANDMENT! Doesn't mean it is something we obey when we feel like it, or if it is convenient, or self-centeredly decide on our own. It means we make these decisions with the input of divine guidance, to help us know we have kept the commandment, not just satisfied our own feelings on the matter. Yeah we all have freedom to decide to follow the commandments...or not, and I may be coming down hard on your expression, but it seems to me that "it's okay to plan- that it's up to the husband and wife" (your language), is at least a slight variation and misleading to the idea of following a commandment.

  • Neanderthal Pheonix, AZ
    Aug. 30, 2013 11:50 a.m.

    @4word thinker:
    "Having a large family is an equally valid choice, but it is shunned throughout most of the US and much of the world."

    Not so. There are societies/relgions in the world that emphasize large families. Because they know that, over time, ethnicities with large families will eventually take over the world. Currently, the US families are less than replacement size. What does that tell us about the future of WASPS in the US?

    "Perhaps we need billboards assuring its OK to have a large family."

    That'd be a start.

  • RanchHand Huntsville, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 12:08 p.m.

    I just love how self-righteous some of these comments are. It just warms the cockles of my heart.

  • J Thompson SPRINGVILLE, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 1:19 p.m.

    Look at how many people are telling us to mind our own business, as if they had the right to tell us anything.

    Those who don't have the "faith" to let our Creator send them children will still receive all the "blessings" of having no children or just one or two. We and our children are the reason that the earth was created. Children are entitled to a life. Our Creator will not forget those who willing welcomed a child or many children into their homes. If those who are willing to live by faith and are willing to listen, the Creator will help them determine how many children should be welcomed into their home and He will help them find a way to care for those children.

    Implying that a billboard is significant demeans our whole purpose of living. We are alive because OUR parents had the courage to invite us into mortality. Had they not had that courage, we would not be here (to argue the point or to tell others that they have no right to speak).

  • riverofsun St.George, Utah
    Aug. 30, 2013 1:45 p.m.

    Ah.... the pre dominant religion.
    Wonder if some of the most vociferous commenters on this subject are the teachers in classes on Sunday at the Churches they attend?
    Years ago, I tried the Church thing, and was frightened away by those teachers who were unable to see that not everyone, everywhere, thought their opinion was the answer to all that was wrong on the planet.

  • Miss Piggie Pheonix, AZ
    Aug. 30, 2013 4:33 p.m.

    @LDS Liberal:
    "What you are saying is that you are LDS, but oppose the LDS Church when it has advocated for large families, and actually think the leaders have been wrong in this area. That doesn't add up to me."

    Three religions who advocate large families... LDS, Muslim, and Catholic. And why's that? Because that is a sure way to grow the rolls of the church. Who is currently following that advocation? Basically only the Muslims. Who will rule the world one day with that advocation? Muslims.

  • LDS Liberal Farmington, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 4:56 p.m.

    @Miss Piggie
    Pheonix, AZ

    @LDS Liberal:
    "What you are saying is that you are LDS, but oppose the LDS Church when it has advocated for large families, and actually think the leaders have been wrong in this area. That doesn't add up to me."

    Three religions who advocate large families... LDS, Muslim, and Catholic. Because that is a sure way to grow the rolls of the church. Who is currently following that advocation? Basically only the Muslims. Who will rule the world one day with that advocation? Muslims.
    4:33 p.m. Aug. 30, 2013

    =========

    Huh?

    Your comment is either anti-Mormon,
    anti-Muslim,
    or both.

    The LDS Church advocates the importance of "families", period.
    I don't recall anything about narrowing it down to only LARGE families.

    Mormon Myth #217 - busted.

  • RanchHand Huntsville, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 5:00 p.m.

    @Miss Piggie;

    Having lots and lots of babies because you're afraid of Muslims doesn't really seem all that intelligent, imo.

  • Miss Piggie Pheonix, AZ
    Aug. 30, 2013 5:23 p.m.

    @LDS Liberal:
    "What you are saying is that you are LDS, but oppose the LDS Church when it has advocated for large families, and actually think the leaders have been wrong in this area. That doesn't add up to me."

    Three religions who advocate large families... LDS, Muslim, and Catholic. And why's that? Because that is a sure way to grow the rolls of the church. Who is currently following that advocation? Basically only Muslims. Who will populate the world one day with that advocation? Muslims.

  • Mister J Salt Lake City, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 7:46 p.m.

    to HaHaHaHa

    Cinncinatus is right. Mike R has a proven track record of ranting in a style befits a certain major from the TV show MASH.

  • 4word thinker Murray, UT
    Aug. 30, 2013 11:49 p.m.

    Apparently some people don't like to be told to 'mind your own business'. Perhaps the more politically correct phrase you might understand is 'right to privacy'.

    Surely married couples have the right to privacy. Yet many are bombarded with the phrase, "They know what causes that now" followed by "It's okay to plan" which is why the billboard is, in fact, an offensive slam.

    So please yield to couples' right to privacy and don't say boorish things that ought not be said or thought. And for the sake of civility, don't print them on billboards either. (Unless, as I suspect is true in this case, it is your intent to insult couples who choose to have more than 1.76 children)

  • Badgerbadger Murray, UT
    Aug. 31, 2013 7:04 a.m.

    To those who think "too many people don't plan", those who get married before engaging in marital privileges are doing much more to plan, than the larger part of the population who engage in such acts as mere entertainment or animal instincts to be enjoyed with no thought of all the consequences.

    If you want to address a real problem hurting our society, your efforts would be better spent rallying against sex outside of marriage.

  • L White Springville, UT
    Aug. 31, 2013 8:31 a.m.

    My goodness gracious, but we have a dilemma. We have preachers telling other preachers to keep quiet. We have preachers who send their message to us from billboards. We have preachers who use that billboard message to tell us that we need to plan to limit the size of our families. Then, we have "preachers" who tell us that faith in God is more important than billboard messages. Those "preachers" are mocked.

    So, what should we do? Should we watch for billboard messages to guide us through life or should we listen to God?

    I certainly do not listen to the preachers who tell me to pay attention to billboards or to reject my God because they think that my God does not know anything about my family or the size of my family.

    I do not much trust in the "gospel" of billboards. Maybe others do.

  • cavetroll SANDY, UT
    Aug. 31, 2013 10:49 p.m.

    Too many people are taking way too much offense from this. I don't care if you have a large family or a small family. If you are offended by another person's or organization's opinion, especially on a billboard, maybe you should look internally to solve the matter.

  • Furry1993 Ogden, UT
    Sept. 1, 2013 8:16 a.m.

    The issue here is NOT how many children a woman should have. That is her decision to make, in consultation with her spouse/partner, her doctor an, if she chooses, her religious adviser and others she deems appropriate. Regardless how many children she chooses to have, for her health and well-being those pregnancies need to be planned.

    let me make my point again. Every woman, regardless whether she wants a small, medium or large family, needs to plan her pregnancies. Pregnancy puts a lot of stress on a woman -- physically and emotionally. Her hormones run riot. For a woman's physical and emotional well-being, pregnancies need to be spaced at least 2-3 years apart to give her body time to recover from the last pregnancy and delivery before starting another. Any closer together than that can cause some real problems for her.

    And to the men -- if you truly love, honor and cherish your wife/partner, support her in this. Don't let her over-stress her body with too-close pregnancies. You will have her longer as a companion in mortality if you do.