As a member of the same faith, I am pleased to see the progress being made in
accepting our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. We know at least two
families like the Weeds and have been impressed with their faith in the face of
a church and its membership that have to date not always been understanding of
the challenge and, in may cases, even hostile. To be able to look beyond that
response and stay with that which you believe to be true is an extremely
difficulty challenge I imagine. May God bless you and others in similar
circumstances. Equally important, may God bless the rest of us to act with
Christ-like love to those who have not always felt welcome under the umbrella of
the LDS church.
Thanks for this article!
I bet you can find some gay folks that are singularly unimpressed...
Why I like it.. It reminds us to be nice to all but reminds us that at the end
of the day wrong is wrong. And homosexual relations are wrong. And I am not
even a Mormon!
I'm sorry, but I don't get it... The math doesn't work for me...
I don't beieve that being gay is genetic and until someone can
prove that it is to me, all of this just adds up to being a "show" or an
exercise in "Political Correctness"... All God's children deserve
love and respect but that doesn't mean it's "okay"... How are
their kids being raised? What are they being taught? The Bible seems pretty
clear to me on this issue... I don't even want to get into the detail of
how this managed everyday... It's wrong and the Church needs to
hold to that position unless they want to discount scritural teachings or put a
spin on it that probably would make little sense to me... Again, someone show me
irrefutable evidence that it is genetic and then I'll be quiet but until
then, it's not alright in my book... I will teach my children and
grandchildren tollerance, but I will not teach them that it is an acceptable
To Joshua and your wife, thank you for your bravery and for being in tune with
the Spirit. My experience with homosexuality has been limited and the one close
friend I have that is gay won't talk to me about it and has left the
church. It does my heart good to know there are people like you, living
heterosexual lifestyles and not giving up the fight to live the gospel. Thank
you for your example!
These mormonsandgays articles all seem to be about homosexuals who decided to
marry and have children and lived happily ever after.I don't
know the numbers, but I would bet that they are focusing on the minority.
To each his own. The LDS church needs to let other people live their lives
without interference. That includes marrying the person you love, whether the
opposite sex or the same.
While I respect Mr. Weed, and even support him in doing what he chooses to do, I
would like to point out that when I had been married ten years, I was 100%
committed to living a heterosexual lifestyle, living as an active
Latter-Day-Saint for the rest of my life, and never giving in to my homosexual
feelings. However, there came a point in life, where I simply could not pretend
anymore, and after 20 years of marriage I finallly accepted my sexuality. I am
now living what I feel is a genuine lifestyle, and for the first time in my life
I am truly content and happy with who I am. For the first time ever, I can
honestly say that I know God loves me. I sincerely hope that Joshua will be
able to maintain his chosen lifestyle as he says he intends to. Good luck to
him, and also to his lovely wife.
I'm glad to see the church get a little louder with the message that LDS
people DO NOT hate gay/homosexuals! Props to the Weeds. I think you are an
incredibly brave family, as are the people who are sharing their stories on the
new website. I admire your strength!
The church website serves many people: 1. It fosters understanding
between the membership and those who experience same-gender attraction. 2. It encourages members of the church to empathy even when those who
experience same gender attraction choose not to follow church covenants. 3. It provides an alternative voice to the world's position that
the only happy gay is one that is openly gay living the openly gay lifestyle in
all its most cliche'd and stereotypical ways. In a way the church's
alternative offers gays more freedom. 4. It enables them to know
they are not alone if they choose to do something other than what the world
tells them to do. 5. It heals families that have been divided on
this issue or don't know how to show love without the fear they will
somehow corrupt their other family members. It pleads for patience and
connection.6. It has real testimonials of those who have endured and
still have testimonies. 7. It does a lot more than just represent
one perspective. It's a needed resource to those walking a path of faith
and feel forces that could pull them off that path.
Keep talking and posting, Joshua. The world needs your message. Though there are
people who will deliberately choose to hate you, the Church, church members,
etc. you are helping the good roll forward, and you have plenty of supporters.
I know it must require tremendous courage to come forward with your
message. It sometimes takes courage to just post an opinion anonymously on a
message board like this. I can't imagine the courage it took to post your
blog. I admire that.
Re: "The LDS church needs to let other people live their lives without
interference."So does the LGBT community.
Why I like the website:1. It reminds us all to be kind to others.2. It stands firm on right being right and wrong being wrong. And
marriage and sexual relationships are only right between one man and one
woman.And I'm not even a Mormon
A good article and a Christlike approach to a controversial issue. Wish I could
have been at the meeting. However, I still believe there is a lot of
misinformation and dishonesty by the gay lobby. First is the coopted term
"gay", which is non-descriptor coined to make homosexuality more
palatable to the public. What doesit really mean? A same-sex attraction? The
homosexual community is diverse group of people, some of whom their whole
identity is tied up in their sexuality and flaunt it, others who have attraction
to those of their same gender, but perhaps attraction to the opposite as well.
Many homosexuals are so adamant that their attraction is purely genetic so as to
eliminate any role of volition in our sexuality...a position that is
scientifically untenable, yet it is rarely challenged. I will be interested to
see the responses to my comments from the more rabid part of the spectrum. But
if we are to have an honest discussion about homosexuality let's be honest,
and discuss the several ways homosexuality has a negative influence on
traditional marriage and society.
Go Josh! I hope he and his family, and all the LGBT community, know how much
love there is for them within the church - the same as we have for all people.
Everyone is a Child of God. We all have our struggles and challenges we must
face in this life. I admire those who choose not to lose their faith and values
in the face of challenges, whatever they may be. And I love the
Church's official statement, "The experience of same-sex attraction is
a complex reality for many people. The attraction itself is not a sin, but
acting on it is. Even though individuals do not choose to have such attractions,
they do choose how to respond to them. With love and understanding, the Church
reaches out to all God’s children, including our gay and lesbian brothers
I am LDS, and I am happily married to a man who is gay. This website is a god
sent, and I think it reaches out to a population that has suffered so much and
struggles. I know that he felt loved and accepted by this website.It
is possible for someone who has same gender attraction, or someone who is bi
sexual to be in a heterosexual relationship, and be happy, but it requires work,
prayer, love and understanding. Kudos to you Joshua for sharing your
story, and know that you are not alone! I think as a church we need to talk
Wow! Why would any woman know that a man is gay, and then proceed with the
marriage? If she found out later in the marriage, why would she not work with
him to change that lifestyle, and identify as a HETEROSEXUAL married man?! If he
can't change his homosexual lifestyle or thought process, because 'he
was born like that' should his significant other not be a man? Seems
like the LDS church has made marriage almost become an idol for some, that they
would do anything, and marry just anyone, just be called married! In my opinion,
so that they can have children, mostly for LDS bragging rights! Just to put
things in perspective, I am an LDS woman, who is married to a wonderful, loving
man. I know marriage is ordained of God.I have several gay friends,
and I know that they should be treated with love and respect. However, my
understanding is that being a gay man means you are sexually attracted to men.
How do these 'wives' handle that? Why would they say they are
'happily married'?Well, kudos to the church for creating a
platform where ALL members of the church can feel welcomed.
@Utes Fan,You amusingly forgot to mention that the homosexual
community will also hate Joshua for his message.
I support the Weed family and I wish them the best.However, I agree
with "Wendell's comment", I worry and claim confusion about the
church position and question the wisdom of a homosexual person entering into a
heterosexual relationship.As a boy,I always knew I was different, I
prayed to God every night to change me or to take me with him.I served my
mission and I dedicated every second of those two years hoping for God to cure
me. I dated girls. I wanted to get married because that I thought "God"
expected of me.I promised to myself I wouldn't marry until I
knew I was cured.I couldn't bear the thougt of deceiving my wife and future
children. I talked to church leaders,went through reparative
therapy to no avail.Many years ago I kneeled and I told God that I
was giving up my search for a cure. God answered my prayer with love and the
understanding that he didn't expect for me to change, I was his son and he
loved me just the way I was.My partner of 30 years, our daughter and
God, form my happy family.
It is not acceptance when you focus on a fraction of the community that marries
an opposite sex partner. That inturn makes them not gay, bisexual more likely.
This is just another attempt, that is completely wrong and offensive. We accept
you as long as you marry, have kids and probably hurt your spouse in the end.
@theidama -- You should read his post that is linked in this article. It
answers some of your questions.I have been a member of the church
for 50 years. When I was in high school, I pretty much thought gay meant happy.
It was right after that when AIDS came to the forefront. I've always felt
that gay or straight, LDS, other denomination, whatever else is different than
"me", it was my job to be a friend and to be kind and compassionate to
others. What a wonderful article. Thank you for publishing your story, Josh,
and to your sweet wife and family.
The LDS church teaches that Gays shouldn't fulfill themselves in the way
they would want. Many believe this enough to follow this. If this isn't
actually true it is a crime to tell people this and rob them of so much
happiness. Churches I assume will be held accountable by God for the needless
damage they do to peoples lives.I am curious, is there any
fulfillment when a Gay marries a person of the opposite sex? Or is it just going
through the motions for the sake of obedience? Are people who marry these gays
being fulfilled? Or do they find in their spouse a great lack of excitement and
passion, which then deprives them of a normal marriage.If anyone out
there knows, would you mind answering these questions?
Chris B. We should get together We'd drive each other crazy talking about
college football but on important issues like this I have to say I agree with
you.Being kind and compassionate to others in the truest sense of
the word, is the important thing.And I am mormon.
cjb, I've followed Josh Weed's blog for a while. It is all about the
fulfillment they feel in their marriage.My heart goes out to gay
people, and particularly to LDS gays. I can't imagine what it's like
to have to choose between what you believe and what your sex drive tells you.
Actually I can--to some degree.
Joshua Weed mentions being worried about how members of the Church would react
to his blog post, the real threat he should've considered is the one from
the LGBT/Progressive Community when they found out he was a gay man trying to
recover from his 'condition'...again a progressive Mormon aims his
frustration inward and goes after the easy target..."other Mormons" and
in doing so casts judgement and insults the intelligence of the silent Mormon
minority who have never had a problem with gay people.
Having public pressure to influence a homosexual to enter into a faux marriage
is not the Church's accepting homosexuality and being accepting to gays. I
fail to see all of the excitement over this website. These "marriages"
seem rather sick to me.
I guess I'm torn on this whole website and focus that the church is putting
on gay people that are members of the church. Obviously I need to sustain my
leaders because they have a greater understanding then I do in these
circumstances. I just find it interesting that the percentage of gay people is a
very small minority and yet the focus is so large and consuming. Not all people
fit into the church perfectly - just ask a single woman with or without children
or a married couple without children. Do we really need all of this
To Theidma: What is the difference of having a gay husband have feelings for a
man and a straight husband having feelings for another woman. In both
instances, the husband would need to control those feelings - feelings for a
very manly looking man and feelings for a very beautiful, well endowed woman. I
have to remind myself sometimes that "she is one of heavenly father's
daughters" and I should not and do not want to have thoughts about her that
I should not have. Same goes for a gay man who, seeing a man that is
"interesting to him", generates thoughts. Not being gay, I do not know
what generates "thoughts" in a gay man - whether it is a man's
physique, or some other quality of that person - but he has to control those
thoughts just as I do. It would probably be much more difficult for a coach, a
trainer, a doctor or nurse, or someone that has close physical contact with
others, to control those thoughts, but they have to learn to control them. When
we do not control those thought, whether straight or gay/lesbian, that is when
we are asking for trouble.
panamadesnews,Thanks for saying what I meant to say. I don't
want to equate my challenges a straight male with the law of chastity with a gay
individual's challenge. For what it's worth, I can recall that as a
missionary I was able to completely tune out sexual thoughts for 2 years at a
time when hormones are raging. But I understand the huge difference. It
certainly helped to know that one day my longings could be satisfied.I have profound respect for someone like Josh Weed who is able to channel his
feeling and live the way his faith tells him he should.
As a straight guy I can't imagine marrying a man just because a 2000 year
old book says to. I also can't imagine sleeping with a man(this dude has 3
kids so he's done it at least that many times) because my parents and
"god" told me too. Plus, I can't imagine how his wife feels,
because if Mr. Weed is truly gay he wouldn't be attracted to his wife,
which has to be difficult for her. Instead of trying to encourage people to live
a lie by marrying someone they aren't attracted too why not let them just
Re: "As a straight guy I can't imagine marrying a man just because a
2000 year old book says to."Noodlekaboodle,Either
you or I am missing something here. I assume by 2000 year old book you are
referring to the Bible. I am not aware that the Bible says a man must marry a
Re: ". . . why not let them just be themselves?"Yeah -- why
not?Why do LGBT activists insist that everyone who identifies
him/herself as same-sex attracted is required to live the life they live?Why not just let Josh be Josh? And Lolly be Lolly? And not try to tell
them what is or is not a lie in their lives, or what they should or
shouldn't do?Who died and elected you Pope?
@Baccus0902I could not agree more. I knew I was gay by the time I was 5
or 6 years old. I also knew, because of the teachings of the church, that it
was shameful, wrong, and pretty much perverted to have those feelings. So...I
spent nearly every moment of my life doing EVERYTHING the Lord required of me in
order to "fix" me. I prayed, fasted, studied the
scriptures, attended the temple, begged and pleaded with God, and went through
all sorts of therapy to get fixed. I was a terrible emotional mess and had
reached the very end of my rope. Finally, when I was approaching 40 years old,
I had had more than enough. I was desperate for a resolution, was absolutely
miserable with myself, and simply could do no more. So...I came to see
that there were only two possible options for me:Either God was not who he
said he was because he refused to "Fix me" orGod did not
believe being gay was something that needed to be changed.I chose
the latter, do not regret that choice, and have never been happier in my entire
@procuradorfiscalI don't care what Mr Weed and his wife do. It's
their life not mine. But I am allowed to says that I don't get it. If you
are gay it means you are attracted to men, not women correct? So why would his
wife marry him and have three kids if she knows that he will never be attracted
to her? If my girlfriend was to tell me that she was only attracted to women I
wouldn't have had my child with her and I wouldn't still be in a
relationship. However, being gay isn't the only reason that I wouldn't
understand why someone would stay in a relationship. If my girlfriend told me
she ONLY like tall, dark hairy men I wouldn't be dating her either(I'm
short and Irish). I just don't understand why you would date someone who
will never be attracted to you. I personally wouldn't sentence myself to
that life of pain and martyrdom.
@LDSrChristiansI was reversing what the Bible says because i'm
straight, and was trying to think about what it would be like to marry someone
i'm not attracted to because it's what i'm supposed to do.
Re: "I personally wouldn't sentence myself to that life of pain and
martyrdom."Neither would Josh and Lolly.And, if you
can't understand why two people who love one another and their God find
those a stronger attraction than wild sex, and why they would make adjustments
in their lives to please God and one another, and to be together for eternity, I
suggest you're not ready for marriage to your girlfriend, even if she is
attracted to short, Irish men.Grow up, live whatever life you think
will make you happy, and let Josh and Lolly do the same.
All I could think after reading Josh's article was the words/music:
"Kindly Heaven smiles above ... "This was an awesome
article. Thanks for sharing. I felt the power and spirit of your message.
@procuradorfiscalWho forced the Weeds to put their life out there on
display for the public too look at? Not me. I would guess it was their choice.
My biggest concern is for when Mr Weed realizes he is living a lie, has a gay
affair and devastates his wife and kids. My ex brother in law and my sister did
this exact same thing. 10 years and 4 kids later he and my sister decided that
living a lie and being miserable couldn't be gods plan. Face it, if this
man is gay and trying to pretend he is straight it won't work. Eventually
the truth comes out. No matter how hard you try. You can't fit a square peg
into a round hole without breaking the peg. Maybe Mr. Weed is confused and not
really gay, maybe he is bisexual, I hope that it works. I just have seen from
personal experience that a truly gay man isn't going to be happy in a
straight relationship. Just like you or I wouldn't be happy in a gay
relationship, because we aren't gay.
To SoCalChris:"I can't imagine what it's like to have
to choose between what you believe and what your sex drive tells you."Yes you can if you had a sex drive at all. The natural tendencies
(natural man?) in all of us would dictate that we have sexual relations with any
willing partner as often as we are inclined to do so. That aspect of this is no
different between hetero- and homosexuals. But that is one of the main purposes
of life is to control those natural tendencies and not let them rule our lives
so we can become more like our Father.With regards to a homosexual
man living in a heterosexual marriage, based on conversations with friends and
siblings, there are lots of men, I dare say the majority, whose marital
relations are no where near the elaborate fantasies portrayed by Hollywood
and/or envisioned in school boy fantasies of what marriage would one day be
like. I bet the relationship of a homosexual man married to a woman is probably
real similar to that of a 15-year married couple. And the woman, depending on
her nature, is probably much happier.
Procurador FiscalYou wrote: "Why do LGBT activists insist that
everyone who identifies him/herself as same-sex attracted is required to live
the life they live?"How did you reach that conclusion? Never
heard anything like that.I think you are missing the point.If
Mr. Weed and his wife have found true happiness and true fulfillment in their
lives, I think we all feel happy for them.There is not threat to
them or hate, on the contrary, because we can imagine how challenging that can
be I'm sure that most gay people feel love and send our prayers for their
happiness.Yes, many of us gay people, pray, read the scriptures,
examine our daily lives, and do many things that heterosexual people do. The
biggest difference is in the privacy of our bedrooms.We really
don't hate heterosexuals, actually we love many people who are
heterosexuals, mother, father, brothers and sisters, uncles, aunts, co-workers,
etc. My dear Procurador Fiscal those who feel negativity toward a
different sexual orientation are usually heterosexuals. We gays are used to you
people (like we had a choice :-) more than that, we love you as our friends and
Wrong side of history.
It seems to me, and I may be wrong, but I see no difference in being attracted
to the same sex, or being a man or woman--attracted to many members of the
opposite sex. The point that remains, what you do about it. If you ACT on
either one, you will need to repent. IF you exercise self-control, take up your
cross and do NOT act on the attractions, you are on the correct path. Having
SEX is not, as I understand, essential to happiness, nor necessary. Only God
can figure the rest on that, but experiences, childhood exposure to sexuality,
and maybe in rare cases--from earliest memories...all play a part in the ensuing
sexual directions we take.If you are plain old heterosexual, and have NO
sexual temptations, I guarantee you DO have temptations that YOU must deal with.
Best deal with those and love everyone else, and have compassion and say,
"There but for God, go I." And darn well be glad you aren't
walking in the tough shoes of another!!!! Thank-you God for my trials, and
thank-you for sparing me others I might not be able to contend with!
Re: "My biggest concern is for when Mr Weed realizes he is living a lie . .
. ."As I said, grow up, live your life, let others do the same.
Real people are more concerned for people like you than we are for him.It's not a lie for Josh to love God and his wife, any more than it is for
a hetero husband. Each should be committed to the one he loves and resist
temptation to sleep with others.You'll learn that when you grow
up -- hopefully, before you get married.
(continuing as I ran out of space) I DO believe that all of us who struggle in
life, which is everyone, will be made whole. Homosexuals and heterosexuals who
follow Jesus Christ's commandments are expected to not have ANY sexual
relationship that is not between a man and a woman who are legally and lawfully
married. That means no sexual acts for a straight man that is not with his legal
wife, as well, people. No pre-marital sex, no extra-marital sex. It is the
same for homosexuals. If a person cannot be married, they should not be having
sex with anyone. EVERYONE is expected to overcome the base nature's of our
bodies and live a higher law so that we can have what God has. Why would we not
want to have everything? Follow Jesus Christ will all your heart, might, mind,
and strength. Show love and service to everyone. Make yourself better than you
are. You will come out happier than anything the world can do for you. Merry
There is no where in the church doctrine that says that a member of the church
must be married in this life or they are damned to hell never to live in the
Celestial Kingdom with God. There are tons of members who identify as
heterosexual who never get married in this life for one reason or another. That
does not mean that they will not get the full blessings that Heavenly Father
promises to all who follow Jesus Christ's commandments. Why should it be
different for those who identify as homosexual? They are not forced to get
married. If they cannot build a relationship like the Weed family, they
aren't expected to get married. They are expected to follow all of Jesus
Christ's commandments just as non-homosexuals are expected to live all of
Jesus Christ's commandments. I have no idea why people experience
homosexuality. I am not God and do not have His understanding, therefore I
cannot fully understand. Yet. I know that after this life all things will be
made right. All pains, all hurts, all wrongs, all things. I do not believe that
there will be homosexuality in heaven. (continued.....)
@procuradorfiscal;I'm gay and I really couldn't care less
if someone like Josh is gay and wants to marry a woman. We don't hate him
and people like him (we know way too many of them).That said, using
men like Josh to try and FORCE the rest of us to live a "heterosexual
lifestyle" or be celibate is offensive and disgusting.BTW: We
are more than willing to leave you alone, you're the ones voting on our
lives though, we're not voting on yours.@Baccus0902 &
Wendell;My story is almost the same as yours. Once I finally prayed
that I was going to stop trying to change and accept myself, all the guilt, all
the self-hate, all the agony vanished and has never come back. That was over 30
years ago. Most of the people comparing us to men/woman who are
attracted to *many* of the opposite sex who manage to *control* their urges are
forgetting one thing: Those men/women HAVE AN OUTLET in the person they've
So, if I am consumed by thoughts which are questionable/evil, it is okay as long
as I don't act on those thoughts???? Absolutely not.
There actually is more to life than sex. It's highly possible for a may who
has same gender attractions to love and be married to a woman and for both of
them to be completely content. To those who don't believe that, it requires
charity from you to just live and let live. Perhaps as much as is required of
heterosexuals to be accepting of those who choose the gay lifestyle. Why must
you insist they are being untrue to their genuine selves? They are simply
putting other things above sex and that's OK!!
I cannot see a circumstance where i would want to be in a sexual relationship
with someone of the same gender. Because I'm straight. I don't care
how much I like those friends, I just wouldn't be attracted to them in that
way. So for someone with attractions to one gender to be in a healthy sexual
relationship with someone of the other gender... there has to be some level of
attraction to both. That's what the Kinsey scale shows.
This is good news for many members of the Church, and also for the Church
itself. Many good people have been lost to the Church because they have not
been treated as well by some folks in the Church as they might be.I
have two friends that both have two gay sons. My family and I have known these
boys since birth, and have always loved them. We love them because of the
people they are. Their sexual orientation has never bothered us, even though we
are "straight." People either are, or they are not, nice people because
of the people they are. I like being around nice people because they are nice,
not because they are gay, straight, black, white, Baptist, Catholic, atheists,
agnostics or even if they flew in from Mars. Nice people are nice people, and
unpleasant people are unpleasant people because of who they are, and not because
of what their ethnic background or orientations are.I wish Josh and
his family all that they deserve. A long and happy life together. To those who
have left the Church over this issue, please come back. We love you, and we
EnglishAlan says:"To those who have left the Church over this
issue, please come back."---Why? To continue to be
treated as second class and be required to give up the ones we love? Those of
you who are lauding "the church" for this, are the very ones who are
making our relationships out as "all about sex". Relationships are
complicated, as you well know from your own, and there is far more to them than
just sex. Yours, ours, the others, with only that one small difference are
No doubt there are some who feel that The Weeds have chosen to suppress rather
than to accept and to pretend rather than to live honestly as the majority of
the LGBT community would prefer.Everyone on this planet has some
sort of an 'inborn' trait that is not 'normal' or causes
some distress in life in one way or another. And so, everyone on this planet
has an opportunity to seek for self mastery - to what ever degree they are
capable of doing. By the same token, most of us in society go day to day
keeping our personal issues to ourselves without feeling a need to advertise
them. Personally, I prefer to work on my personal issues - as much as I can,
personally; without community involvement.One faction of society
seems convinced that the way to overcome challenges is to simply alter the laws
or customs of society so that they are no longer considered problematic.
I'm not sure this is a long lasting solution.I appreciated the
article and a voice to suggest that there are other options than simply
surrendering to our tendencies and compelling others to accept it.
@ulvegaard;Fortunately for you, you don't need to
"master" the need to have someone in your life to love. As for keeping
your "personal issues" to yourself, you advertise your sexuality every
single day of your life. You absolutely do. Your wedding ring says "Hey,
I'm heterosexual and married". Pictures of your spouse and kids says:
"Hey, I'm heterosexual and married". Holding your spouse's
hand, says "Hey, I'm heterosexual and married - or dating".You really need to examine your original premise. We're not broken
and don't need fixing.
I have thought for so many years that the church needed people willing to stand
up and say they are gay and LDS too--people willing to give their names and talk
about it on record. There are young people growing up in the church who are
afraid of what they're feeling and they need role model besides the ones
the world offers. Thank heavens that people like the Weeds are opening this up
to discussion. Blessings on you!
To: Baccus0902,Are you still a practicing LDS? Just curious...and
if so, have you found yourself being accepted all these years? If not, will you
consider coming back into full activity? Also, how accepting has your family
been? Sorry for all the questions, but 30 years ago was a different time and
much more closed minded toward these issues...Thanks for any enlightenment!
@ SouthernmissThank you for your questions,I rarely attend
services at the LDS Church. I usually do it to accompany family members who are
visiting the U.S.Individual members have been quite open minded ( I live
very close to the Washington DC area in Northern Virginia, which is very
liberal, may be that have something to do with it, I don't know).Some
members of my family had a hard time accepting it. But in a short time all of
them came around to me and my nuclear family.I love the LDS Church, I
think my perspective in life has been shaped by mormonism. However, I cannot go
back to full activity until the church accepts me as I am. I do love a man and
together we adopted and raised a daughter who is going to college next year.
Would I destroy my family for the Church? NO!As a family we pray, read
the scriptures, and study all religious ideas that cross our path, I can humbly
say that God has always been with us.I hope this answer your questions.
It seems to me that this is a complex issue that the LDS church is willing to
address. It says that we don't have all the answers to people's
challenges. We need to be willing to love one another as Christ did no matter
what. The LDS church also isn't budging on the fact that it doesn't
condone sexual relations outside of a man and woman being married to each other.
I think that this reaffirms what the LDS doctrine has always been. Mortality is
a brief moment in our eternal existence. Each one of us has challenges.
Obviously being attracted to someone of the same gender is one of them if part
of the purpose of sexuality is to create children. (Obviously that is not going
to happen from a same gender union.) I have no doubt that people might think
that they are happier acting upon those urges in life. I just wonder what
happens to them after they die. All the same, each person needs to make their
own choice. Love one another no matter how different we are.
=However, my understanding is that being a gay man means you are sexually=attracted to men. How do these 'wives' handle that? Why would they
say they are='happily married'?Maybe these
'wives' realize that there's more to a good marriage than just
sexual attraction. I think sexual attraction is a huge part of most successful
marriages, and should be. But I don't think that it's so huge that
its lack necessarily dooms a marriage to failure. Josh and Lolly clearly have
something great going for them, and I'm certainly not going to say that
their marriage is wrong or bad just because they lack that one ingredient.
=Instead of trying to encourage people to live a lie by marrying someone they=aren't attracted too why not let them just be themselves?What lie is Josh living? He clearly loves Lolly; he clearly loves his three
children. Why shouldn't he be part of a family with four people he loves?
Why does sexual attraction have to define who someone ends up spending his life
(or eternity) with?
=However, I cannot go back to full activity until the church accepts me as I
am.=I do love a man and together we adopted and raised a daughter who is
going to=college next year. Would I destroy my family for the Church?
NO!Baccus0902, I thank God that there are people like you.For all the noise that the Pro-Lifers make about every unwanted fetus having
the right to be born, they don't follow through and adopt the baby when
s/he is born. Well, they may adopt some of them, but not all; often when the
Pro-Lifers adopt it's healthy white newborns. On the other hand, if I have
understood what I've read in the media correctly, the disparity is made up
by gay couples adopting the rest, which often includes special needs
children.I consider myself a moderate Latter-day Saint. Currently
the policy in Texas is; when a child needs foster parents, to look for a
straight couple first, and to look for a gay couple if they can't find a
straight couple; and similarly for adoptive parents. I like that policy.
To panamadesnews: Exactly my point. Most people face challenges when it comes to
chastity. In the example you provided about being attracted to women, I did not
see you describe yourself as an "adulterer married to a woman!" My
understanding is that you consider yourself a married man, period. Why does Josh
see the need to identify as a gay man married to a woman? In my opinion, well,
based on self fulfilling prophecy, if he keeps identifying as a homosexual man,
it will become true for him. At some point, the idea of being with a woman will
have to give way to his need to be with a man. I still do not get the need for
homosexual men to be married (probably in the temple!) to women. It also seems
fraudulent to me, but that's just my opinion. No disrespect intended to
Josh and his family. We all have the right to make our choices. Not my cup of
tea anyways :)