I had experienced child abuse, it did'nt make me a loser
@ War dog: Let me see if I understand your position: Someone committed a crime
against you and you took no action to hold them or those who knew about the
crime and enabled its occurrence accountable and now you are advocating that no
victims of similar crimes should be able to hold involved parties accountable,
is that correct? Additionally, you feel victims if crimes who hold the
criminals accountable are losers, right?Does this only apply to
crimes against children or crimes that involve sexual assault, or do you feel
that way about all crimes? Are people who are injured by drunk drivers and file
insurance claims and/or lawsuits losers? What about the guy whose store is
robbed? What about the families if murder victims?
Or maybe it is the mental health issues he suffered that make you think he is a
loser. Do you consider vets with PTSD losers?
KalindraYou are right, you don't understand, and based on your
response, you never could
Actually, War Dog, I understand all too well. But I am also able to see beyond
myself and know that not all victims of crimes and not all those exposed to
extreme trauma react the same - and to denigrate a crime victim or a trauma
survivor because their response was different than mine downplays the severity
of what we both went through and/or are going through and can cause new trauma
and victimization. I am glad you survived your abuse so well. It is
too bad you have to cheapen that survival by acting like what you went through
was no big deal and calling those who do suffer long-lasting ill effects losers.
Did you know many perpetrators claim sexually abusing young children
isn't a big deal and shouldn't be treated so harshly because, hey -
the kid didn't really suffer any harmful effects. Comments
like yours make it easier for abusers to justify their actions - that is where
the harm in your statement comes in.
When did I say it wasn't big deal, you don't see beyond yourself, all
you see is yourself. You comment on statements and inject your own position ,
and don't have clue as to what happened in their case, but you make stuff
up. Like PTSD you have no clue as to what it's like
@WardogThe very fact that you think it is alright to blame the victim
rebders your first comment suspect at best.
Sorry renders not rebders.
To "Kalindra" there are many cases where people were abused in terrible
ways, yet they were able to overcome the abuse and become productive lives. The
guy in this story is blaming the Scouts and the LDS church for his inability to
do something with his life.Take a look at Elizabeth Smart. She was
abused for a long time. Now, she is a returned missionary, news contributor,
spokesperson for missing and endangered children, and a wife. She has made
herself highly succesful. Why can't this guy?
All this guy is about is the money
Redshirt1701,some people look for excuses, others look to overcome -
Elizabeth is one of the latter, this guy is one of the former. I don't
know where Kalindra sits in the spectrum.To point out that some
overcome and some wallow is not to justify or make light of the abuse or
personal tragedies, but points to admirable qualities in others.I
have a colleague who has suffered some horrendous set-backs in his personal
life, yet he is upbeat and as giving a person as you could want to find. Some
can deal with things, others choose not to.
@lost and redshirtSo based on your narrow information on this situation
you have determined that this man is "wallowing" I am sorry but you can
try to justify it in anyway you want you are making light of this situation and
laying the blame on the victim who you seem to think needs to just get over it.
To "Tolstoy" I am not saying that he "needs to just get over
it", but am saying that he has allowed the trauma to be an excuse for
personal failures. I doubt that Elizabeth Smart has been able to "get
over" her ordeal. She has not allowed her ordeal to confine her or limit
her in any way.This man is using the excuse that what he went
through has prevented him from doing anything with his life. Yes he was hurt,
and yes he has some emotinal scars. However, he doesn't have to let those
limit his life. He has chosen to allow the abuse to limit his life.
@lost in dcSo once again how do you justify such a sweeping judgement of
this victim based on the limited information in this one article and why is it
wrong for him to hold those that failed to act responsibly for their actions if
they did so?
George,See Redshirt's response at 3:11.Are you REALLY saying
what this guy suffered (yes, he suffered) is worse than what Elizabeth Smart
@lostSorry that comment was directed at redshirt but to answer your
question Ian saying you not I have any idea what this person may have gone
through or what type of support or resources that he may have had so maybe we
should suspend judgement of this persp. That was the victim of a hideous crime.
To "George" so what you are saying is that once a victim, always a
victim.I am not worried about justice for the victim, that is being
carried out through the courts. What I am talking about is victimhood mentality
that was adopted and was never let go of.The point that I have made,
and will stand by is very simple, and not complicated like you are trying to
make it.What prevented this man from doing something with his life?
The evidence is out there that people have suffered more, and have gone on to do
great things. Why couldn't he do the same?
George,you are right, you and I do not know what he suffered, and I do
grant that he suffered. Hopefully he can take Elizabeth's example and move
on with his life.
@redshirtHow nice that you have a such a clear view of this man that you
do not even know's life history.
@ War dog 12:43 p.m. Dec. 13, 2012"All this guy is about is the
money"So? He's a Republican?
Overall, the whole situation and similar ones of abuse are tragedies. War Dog said nothing about not holding the perpetrator for himself or others
responsible. Those who commit these crimes should be held accountable to the
full extent of the law. I hope that the Mr. Novak is able to overcome with or
without a financial settlement. Fact is, both the Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints and the Scouting organizations are filled with
Sad situation. They bad guy got convicted of a misdemeanor? That seems to be
much more of a misscarriage of justice. The only reason he's suing is that
the church has deep pockets.
Kalindra - perhaps you should wait until you actually know what you're
talking about. I myself have PTSD from a shooting. I still want to run when
I'm in public and hear loud noises. I can't stand guns in TV or
movies. What I think wardog is saying, and what I agree with 100% is
that at some point, YOU have to be held accountable. While people who do you
wrong should certainly atone, at some point YOU have to move on and quit being a
hostage to what happened. Notice, I keep using the word "you"? The best revenge is sucess, and moving on in spite of what happened!!!
"If it's important you will find a way, if not you will find an