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Del. man sues Boy Scouts, Mormons over sex abuse

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  • War dog Taylorsville, UT
    Dec. 12, 2012 4:47 p.m.

    I had experienced child abuse, it did'nt make me a loser

  • Kalindra Salt Lake City, Utah
    Dec. 12, 2012 11:18 p.m.

    @ War dog: Let me see if I understand your position: Someone committed a crime against you and you took no action to hold them or those who knew about the crime and enabled its occurrence accountable and now you are advocating that no victims of similar crimes should be able to hold involved parties accountable, is that correct? Additionally, you feel victims if crimes who hold the criminals accountable are losers, right?

    Does this only apply to crimes against children or crimes that involve sexual assault, or do you feel that way about all crimes? Are people who are injured by drunk drivers and file insurance claims and/or lawsuits losers? What about the guy whose store is robbed? What about the families if murder victims?

  • Kalindra Salt Lake City, Utah
    Dec. 12, 2012 11:22 p.m.

    Or maybe it is the mental health issues he suffered that make you think he is a loser. Do you consider vets with PTSD losers?

  • War dog Taylorsville, UT
    Dec. 13, 2012 8:50 a.m.

    Kalindra

    You are right, you don't understand, and based on your response, you never could

  • Kalindra Salt Lake City, Utah
    Dec. 13, 2012 9:14 a.m.

    Actually, War Dog, I understand all too well. But I am also able to see beyond myself and know that not all victims of crimes and not all those exposed to extreme trauma react the same - and to denigrate a crime victim or a trauma survivor because their response was different than mine downplays the severity of what we both went through and/or are going through and can cause new trauma and victimization.

    I am glad you survived your abuse so well. It is too bad you have to cheapen that survival by acting like what you went through was no big deal and calling those who do suffer long-lasting ill effects losers.

    Did you know many perpetrators claim sexually abusing young children isn't a big deal and shouldn't be treated so harshly because, hey - the kid didn't really suffer any harmful effects.

    Comments like yours make it easier for abusers to justify their actions - that is where the harm in your statement comes in.

  • War dog Taylorsville, UT
    Dec. 13, 2012 9:39 a.m.

    When did I say it wasn't big deal, you don't see beyond yourself, all you see is yourself. You comment on statements and inject your own position , and don't have clue as to what happened in their case, but you make stuff up. Like PTSD you have no clue as to what it's like

  • George Bronx, NY
    Dec. 13, 2012 9:53 a.m.

    @Wardog
    The very fact that you think it is alright to blame the victim rebders your first comment suspect at best.

  • George Bronx, NY
    Dec. 13, 2012 10:38 a.m.

    Sorry renders not rebders.

  • Redshirt1701 Deep Space 9, Ut
    Dec. 13, 2012 11:57 a.m.

    To "Kalindra" there are many cases where people were abused in terrible ways, yet they were able to overcome the abuse and become productive lives. The guy in this story is blaming the Scouts and the LDS church for his inability to do something with his life.

    Take a look at Elizabeth Smart. She was abused for a long time. Now, she is a returned missionary, news contributor, spokesperson for missing and endangered children, and a wife. She has made herself highly succesful. Why can't this guy?

  • War dog Taylorsville, UT
    Dec. 13, 2012 12:43 p.m.

    All this guy is about is the money

  • lost in DC West Jordan, UT
    Dec. 13, 2012 12:46 p.m.

    Redshirt1701,
    some people look for excuses, others look to overcome - Elizabeth is one of the latter, this guy is one of the former. I don't know where Kalindra sits in the spectrum.

    To point out that some overcome and some wallow is not to justify or make light of the abuse or personal tragedies, but points to admirable qualities in others.

    I have a colleague who has suffered some horrendous set-backs in his personal life, yet he is upbeat and as giving a person as you could want to find. Some can deal with things, others choose not to.

  • Tolstoy salt lake, UT
    Dec. 13, 2012 2:43 p.m.

    @lost and redshirt
    So based on your narrow information on this situation you have determined that this man is "wallowing" I am sorry but you can try to justify it in anyway you want you are making light of this situation and laying the blame on the victim who you seem to think needs to just get over it.

  • Redshirt1701 Deep Space 9, Ut
    Dec. 13, 2012 3:11 p.m.

    To "Tolstoy" I am not saying that he "needs to just get over it", but am saying that he has allowed the trauma to be an excuse for personal failures. I doubt that Elizabeth Smart has been able to "get over" her ordeal. She has not allowed her ordeal to confine her or limit her in any way.

    This man is using the excuse that what he went through has prevented him from doing anything with his life. Yes he was hurt, and yes he has some emotinal scars. However, he doesn't have to let those limit his life. He has chosen to allow the abuse to limit his life.

  • George Bronx, NY
    Dec. 13, 2012 4:57 p.m.

    @lost in dc
    So once again how do you justify such a sweeping judgement of this victim based on the limited information in this one article and why is it wrong for him to hold those that failed to act responsibly for their actions if they did so?

  • lost in DC West Jordan, UT
    Dec. 13, 2012 7:17 p.m.

    George,
    See Redshirt's response at 3:11.
    Are you REALLY saying what this guy suffered (yes, he suffered) is worse than what Elizabeth Smart overcame?

  • George Bronx, NY
    Dec. 13, 2012 10:21 p.m.

    @lost
    Sorry that comment was directed at redshirt but to answer your question Ian saying you not I have any idea what this person may have gone through or what type of support or resources that he may have had so maybe we should suspend judgement of this persp. That was the victim of a hideous crime.

  • Redshirt1701 Deep Space 9, Ut
    Dec. 14, 2012 8:02 a.m.

    To "George" so what you are saying is that once a victim, always a victim.

    I am not worried about justice for the victim, that is being carried out through the courts. What I am talking about is victimhood mentality that was adopted and was never let go of.

    The point that I have made, and will stand by is very simple, and not complicated like you are trying to make it.

    What prevented this man from doing something with his life? The evidence is out there that people have suffered more, and have gone on to do great things. Why couldn't he do the same?

  • lost in DC West Jordan, UT
    Dec. 14, 2012 12:25 p.m.

    George,
    you are right, you and I do not know what he suffered, and I do grant that he suffered. Hopefully he can take Elizabeth's example and move on with his life.

  • Kalindra Salt Lake City, Utah
    Dec. 14, 2012 9:48 p.m.

    @redshirt
    How nice that you have a such a clear view of this man that you do not even know's life history.

  • Mister J Salt Lake City, UT
    Dec. 15, 2012 4:13 p.m.

    @ War dog 12:43 p.m. Dec. 13, 2012

    "All this guy is about is the money"

    So? He's a Republican?

  • OCoug Ogden, UT
    Dec. 16, 2012 1:09 a.m.

    Overall, the whole situation and similar ones of abuse are tragedies.

    War Dog said nothing about not holding the perpetrator for himself or others responsible. Those who commit these crimes should be held accountable to the full extent of the law. I hope that the Mr. Novak is able to overcome with or without a financial settlement.

    Fact is, both the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and the Scouting organizations are filled with imperfect people.

  • Flashback Kearns, UT
    Dec. 17, 2012 7:30 a.m.

    Sad situation. They bad guy got convicted of a misdemeanor? That seems to be much more of a misscarriage of justice. The only reason he's suing is that the church has deep pockets.

  • SLC gal Salt Lake City, UT
    Dec. 17, 2012 10:51 a.m.

    Kalindra - perhaps you should wait until you actually know what you're talking about. I myself have PTSD from a shooting. I still want to run when I'm in public and hear loud noises. I can't stand guns in TV or movies.

    What I think wardog is saying, and what I agree with 100% is that at some point, YOU have to be held accountable. While people who do you wrong should certainly atone, at some point YOU have to move on and quit being a hostage to what happened. Notice, I keep using the word "you"?

    The best revenge is sucess, and moving on in spite of what happened!!!

  • Jack Aurora, CO
    Feb. 3, 2013 11:52 a.m.

    "If it's important you will find a way, if not you will find an excuse"