This is a very unpleasant, but very useful series. It demonstrates that we are
biological (and yes, spirtitual) beings. We ARE NOT just commercial entities,
raw resources for production or machines. The problems is that our beloved
capitalism treats us as such.
Dying is easy, it's leaving your family behind that sucks. I have about 1.5-3
years left, depending on how long the chemo can hold the line. I've been
dealing with this for over four years, so I am long ago over being scared, or
mad at God, or whatever emotions you are supposed to feel when the doc utters
the magic words "Stage 4". As long as I still feel good enough to take
a walk with my daughter when she returns from her mission in several months, I'm
good to go. Not eager, I'd like to hang around a while longer, if possible, but
you don't get a veto over nature. About the only regrets I have are some trails
I would have liked to have hiked, and that I probably won't see any grandkids.
But boy oh boy, do I worry about my wife. I'm still alive and feeling good, and
she is more of a mess about this than I am. All I can do make sure the life
insurance is paid up, and teach her to cook. She HATES to cook, while I've
always enjoyed it. Funny the things you worry about, I guess.
Buzzards,My father pulled through many years ago with a basketball
sized tumor in his abdomen. I appreciate your words and can somewhat relate to
what you're going through ... best to you and your family. I hope your daughter
found the mission less important than being with you.
Thank you for tackling a taboo subject such as this. I've told my kids I want a
big party - with happiness and fun things. The grief and emotions will all have
their times, but when people are gathered in my memory, I want it to be
joyful.Going through the process is never fun, but finding
memory-making events - no matter how big or how small - are the treasures one
will have with their loved one for their lifetime.
"washcomomBeaverton, ORThank you for tackling a taboo subject
such as this. I've told my kids I want a big party - with happiness and fun
things. The grief and emotions will all have their times, but when people are
gathered in my memory, I want it to be joyful.Going through the
process is never fun, but finding memory-making events - no matter how big or
how small - are the treasures one will have with their loved one for their
lifetime."I completely agree. I always say don't mourn the
death, celebrate the life!
Most of my older relatives have lived into the mid to late 90s so I have hopes
for the same. I used to work for a government agency that required
all of us to go through an extensive battery of tests, scans, and surveys of our
health and our family's history. One of the results was an estimate of death age
and forecast of future ailments and possible causes of death. It was kind of
disheartening to read and I've always considered it as many other things coming
out of the government as questionable. Yet I've never forgotten it
either, as the date draws near I can see myself looking over my shoulder so to
speak. I'll be happy to pass the estimate but not surprised if it's right
either. Knowing the results gives me areas to focus on to improve my health with
full intent of beating the "Man".I certainly don't want to
be a burden or in a vegetative state. I downloaded the forms and I will start
preparing my plan so the decisions are made long before I need it. My wife and
kids already know my desires and I know theirs too. But having it in writing
will ensure we take emotions out and stick to the plan in the way I want to die
with dignity and at home, not hooked up to machines doing the work that nature
or God has marked for termination.
My father died when I was one year old and my mother never remarried - she
raised 4 children. I learned from a very young age that death is ever present. I
also find it so sad and irresponsible when I hear people don't have life
insurance, long term care insurance, a will or trust or in writing what to do in
a vegetative state. I think it is an act of love to have your affairs in order.
I wish this young mother and family all the best in her treatment.
For those of you who may be touched by Megan's "good life", she has
released a YouTube video in her quest to accomplish her "bucket list"
before she dies. She hopes to design a dress for her hero, Lady Gaga! She wants
to put her fashion know-how to work while showing her daughter that dreams are
important in life and really can come true! Megan hopes the power of Social
Media will help her video to "go viral". Please watch it and share the
video with your friends and on Facebook. If it can capture Lady Gaga's
attention, I'm sure that the kind celebrity will rally to Megan's cause. Megan
asks in the video that if you believe in dreams, please believe in her dream,
and she will believe in yours. Although I know Megan only slightly, I find her
inspirational and very courageous. If all of us together can help her dream come
true, simple but big as it is, my young sons will also learn that dreams come
true... and all of us will find comfort knowing we are a part of bigger whole.
On YouTube, look for "Help Me Gaga.wmv". Megan's hair is pink!