Since this is the DN comment site, and we are in Utah... we already know what
many will state as the answer for this young man.......Religion, and the LDS
'The war on boys: young men losing ground in education, emotional health and
jobs' - title A 'war' on something typically implies that there is a
focused effort, to destroy said thing or person. What is
'attacking' boys? Answer? Nothing. They are slipping in education
and emotional support. But NOT due to any focused effort any one person, or
group. I realize the Deseret News needs to sell papers but all this
'war' mongering is now becoming an example of fiction. Boys are
failing in education? HELP them! But they are not the
target of some perceived agenda.
What is 'attacking' boys?Every decision that results in dads being
estranged from their sons. Including single women deciding to have children
without a father, mothers deciding to divorce and trumping up fake abuse
allegations to keep her annoying ex out of her and her children's lives, courts
who overwhelmingly favor mothers over fathers, even when there are no abuse
concerns, gay partners who decide to have children and deprive the child of the
other gender, people who have children out of wedlock with no concern for the
stability of their child's life...It's not one thing - the family,
and every member of it, are under attack by society, by Hollywood, by government
welfare encouraging dependency instead of encouraging people to stand on their
own feet (as such people are far more likely to be married and stay married).
Well said, Demisana. Although I now live in Utah, I was born and raised in
California. I saw these problems are a teacher. So sad. I remember one child who
was truly brilliant and always in trouble crying because his Daddy wasn't at a
program we did. It broke my heart. I come from a divorced family. Fortunately,
my mother was able to find a good man to marry me who eventually adopted me
after my birth father abandoned me. I'll never forget that day he told me I was
smart. I went from getting Cs and Bs to straight As. Children deserve a mother
and a father. It makes all the difference. I saw it as a teacher so many times.
Let's protect and encourage traditional marriage.
"Q: As you know, fewer young men are going to college. Do you think
affirmative action is the answer to it?A: I think it starts before
that. I think we need to examine the way we're teaching children from elementary
school. Are we asking boys to sit still when they really want to jump around? Is
it because boys have fewer and fewer role models because such a large percentage
of elementary teachers are women? I suspect those are the reasons.If
we can figure out ways to help address the education of boys that is specific to
boys not denying girls, of course maybe they will be able to continue through
school and be able to get good jobs."(Laura Bush 2005)The
U.S. has a higher percentage of single parent families than many other
industrialized countries. It is very difficult to be a parent, let alone a
single parent, and meet all the needs of children. I don't think it is much
about the sex of the parent as it is about the child having 2 involved,
emotionally, physically and financially supportive parents.
All of the studies all over the world show that a child does best with their in
tact supportive biological family. The fast track to poverty and bad
outcomes is single women having children. The fast track to abuse is
an biologically unrelated male in the home.Like it or not the
overwhelming evidence is that children that live in a home with a the same
gender significant other to their parent have very high rates of all kinds of
abuse. These studies come from all over the world, even where same
gender marriage and the homosexual lifestyle has been accepted for years.The elephant in the room is that children need parents of both genders
to be involved in a positive way in their lives.
For too long we have followed the liberal prescriptions to cure our ills, and
only made them worse. Much worse.Destruction of the family is the
core problem: Praise of single-parenthood, instead of its condemnation.
Emasculation of male roles and play so that no one's feelings are hurt and no
winners or losers. The insane urge to make little boys play with dolls instead
of toy guns, and never do anything the least bit dangerous. The
"feminist" idiotology. Worst is the all encompassing liberal
"welfare plantation" which rewards dependency and discourages self
reliance and achievement.Television has not had a responsible father
figure since Bill Cosby. Instead men are portrayed as useless buffoons. Our
kids have paid attention, and now we are surprised?There need to be
consequences for good and bad choices (and applause for daring to judgmentally
label them as such!) Stay in school, don't have sex until you get
married, and don't get married until you are able to support a family. Don't go
into debt. Simple rules, and with almost universal good results for
all who follow them. And, those who don't inevitably end up failing in many
ways... and blaming others.
Re:DN SubscriberLiberal here, parent of 3 boys.There is the
Conservative media rant from people like, SINGLE-parent Laura Ingraham, Limbaugh
and others who blame all the ills of the world on Liberals with sweeping
generalizations, which then get repeated in posts such as yours.I
can't recall single parenthood being praised. Maybe you are confused with the
praise heaped upon a single-parent, who overcame tremendous challenges to
succeed. Big difference.I don't think it was "liberal"
policy that has, in some cases created a more permissive parenting style. I
think it was a rejection of the shaming, autocratic style many of us grew up
with that some parents took too far the other way.I dont know of
anybody that "made" their little boys play with dolls. My sons and
their friends all did the typical boy things; sports, paintball and BB guns
included. Also music lessons. Liberals believe every capable adult should get a
good education which leads to decent jobs. We also believe in being
self-reliant, but also helping those who fall short. Welfare was reformed by
Republicans and Clinton in the 90's. Do Republicans have more ideas? Let's
This is a case of affirmative action gone too far. Make programs to bolster one
segment of the population and let them run until that segment has passed the
others. Then you have to make programs to better the other segments. The cycle
goes on and on.
To "no fit in SG," I am an LDS single father, having raised my two
children over most of 20 years. The "LDS brand" was an essential
guiding factor in my life - helping me to give my children a sense of value,
moral standards, purpose in life, self esteem, personal responsibility, and a
basic healthy concept of who they are. This included much-appreciated help from
fellow LDS ward members in terms of babysitting my children, interacting with
them, and setting positive examples for them. So, is there something wrong with
Yes, there is a *war* on boys, girls, and all God's children, and the enemy is
Satan. He will do anything he can to destroy current and future families. Yes, we should help the boys. But how? Do we strengthen the home? Do
we encourage fathers and mothers in their roles as parents?Or do we
bypass the parent and go for direct public, government programs and policies.
As much good as some organizations do in their direct support of children, I
would submit that more will be accomplished by supporting and encouraging the
God-given role of a biological, differently-gendered set of parents. That kind
of help would yield more, longer-lasting, and better results.
It is possible to excite some people about math and math related fields, but
that doesn't come about by begging them to go into a particular field.It comes about by taking math classes where students are led to the point
where they can solve interesting problems.This is why most people
choose engineering. They love what they are being taught in math and physics in
high school and want to continue on.So long as math in our secondary
schools is dumbed down, interesting problems and a sense of accomplishment will
be hard to come by. Many teachers are aware of the damage that has been done to
math education. Others reflexively deny there is a problem. This mostly includes
administrators in the school districts and professors of math education (not
mathematics) in the universities.Might I suggest a return to proof
based geometry, at the honors level for students who desire it. This way math
classes taught subsequently don't have to be taught at a lower level.Challenging math is interesting math. Those people who have the capacity to
appreciate math, will not do so if they are learning only dumbed down math.
"In my 19 years, not once have I ever been confronted by an individual who
realized independently that I was raised by a gay couple," said Wahls.
"And you know why? Because the sexual orientation of my parents has had
zero affect on the content of my character." Introducing himself as a
"sixth-generation Iowan," Wahls said he had achieved the Boy Scouts'
highest rank and attained a 99th percentile on his college aptitude test.
"If I was your son, Mr. Chairman, I believe I would make you very
proud," he testified.Zach Wahls, a 19 yr old engineering student at
University of Iowa, addressing the Iowa legislature, Feb. 2011
@no fit in SGNot sure if your comment is intended to be serious or
insulting.I know there are some who are insulted by the notion that
certain religions and communites in this country actually value boys and see
them as more them video game playing, dirty magazine looking bafoons. @Pagan@TruthseekerI'm sure you're both familiar with
the term, "There are lies and then there are statistics."Feel free to bury your heads in the sand all you want. Feel free to ignore,
scoff at, or ridicule studies like this all you wish. But the fact of the matter
is, boys in our country are struggling and falling short in ever greater
numbers. Perhaps, like some in our society, you honestly don't care
about teenage boys or young adult men and where they're headed in society.
Perhpas the numbers displayed in this article give you pleasure. I'm sure NOW,
the ACLU, Planned Parenthood and the NEA are all high fiveing each other right
For too long we have followed the liberal prescriptions to cure our ills, and
only made them worse. Much worse. - DN Subscriber Excuse me?? ** 'Bristol Palin has book deal' - By Hillel Italie - AP - Published by
DSnews - 03/01/11 'Bristol Palin, 20, has become a celebrity in her
own right, through her broken relationship with her child's father, Levi
Johnston...' - article. In case you didn't know...
Bristol Palin was raised in a 'Abstinence only' family. Her mother is one of the
most known conservatives in America... Sarah Palin.
In fairness, I think it's foolish to suggest that all boys in our society are
being kicked to the ground while all girls are being propped up and handed
everything on a silver platter.The numbers in this article clearly
show that boys in our society are being short changed. Of course, no
one (except radical, far left feminists) are flat out saying things like,
"Boys are worthless and we should all prevent them from doing well in
school."It's a lot more subtle than that. It
includes TV talk shows that glamorize violent, sexually active men.It includes TV shows, movies and video games in which men are often shown as
selfish, violent, hurtful and lazy.It includes the glamorizing of
male athletes who father children with many different women.But even
beyond this, society in general places more value and looks and money than
brains, and that goes for both males and females.People like Pagan
and Truthseeker will contiue to mock and belittle articles like this. The rest
of us can actually do something about it.
'Perhaps, like some in our society, you honestly don't care about teenage boys
or young adult men and where they're headed in society. Perhpas the numbers
displayed in this article give you pleasure.' - ClarkHippo 7:29 p.m. Feb. 18,
2012 If I didn't care about this country... I never
would have tried to serve in the US military. *'Donât Ask,
Donât Tell: Serving in Silence' - By Matthew LaPlante - SL Tribune - Watts
Cooking - Reprinted: 07/02/11 'Pagan said he was questioned
repeatedly about the meaning of the conversation and even subjected to a
polygraph test.' - article While it was busy discriminating against
me. I never would have gotten my Anthrax shots, or went through
basic training in Ft. Jackson, South Carolina. 'Victory Starts
Here.' Before you continue you ill-informed rant about failings you
are PROJECTING onto other people... help. Or stop
Re:Clark HippoMocking? Belittling? I am acutely concerned
and aware of the plight of boys in our society, since I have only sons.It
doesn't appear as if you read my posts, but instead, just respond with a
knee-jerk reaction..One of my posts was merely rebutting the notion that
liberals, liberal policies, are to blame.I really don't know that
teaching methods are to blame. I think schools are more conducive to allowing
children to move around the classroom which suits boys better than when I was in
school (decades ago) and nearly all day was spent sitting at desks. That's not
to say teaching methods shouldn't be examined. I would be interested to hear
from teachers.I really do believe the increasing percentage of
single parent families is a big factor. My son told me once he knows boys who
don't plan on going to college because they can't afford it and because they
need to work to help support the family. I think the loss of a father through
divorce can have a greater affect on the boys or at least affects them in ways
different than daughters.
I think the majority of comments here are right - I don't think there is a
specific war on boys - it's just a symptom of the way our society is working
right now. TV and movies, as well as video games, don't help matters. They
promote violence and a lack of personal responsibility. Boys (and men) are not
cool if they are intelligent and sensitive. Not very much of entertainment out
there exhibits any value in family or any sort of moral baseline for kids to
follow. Men that are intelligent and/or sensitive are portrayed as either gay or
nerdy. The message is: it's not cool to be smart, it's not cool to follow the
rules, it's not cool to just be a normal well-adjusted male.
How about this heresy - Give all parents vouchers which will allow
parents, if they so choose, to send their kids to same-sex schools. They boys'
school could have a ciriculum based on the style of learning that fits boys and
the same at a school for girls which could have a ciriculum based on the style
of learning that fits girls.We all know that males are visually
stimulated, hence 95% of porn is of nude women (and the porn of nude men is
bought more by gay men than by straight women). Visual entertainment like video
games and PCs are FAR more attractive to males than females. having a visually
oriented ciriculum for boys would work better for them than for girls.Perhaps in same-sex schools, the kids would focus more on studying rather than
trying to show off for and attract members of the opposite sex. it
may not be PC, but as Glenn beck says, "The truth has no agenda".
Of course, most of you citing single parenthood as part of the cause for it are
simultaneously opposing the expansion of contraception access that is
statistically proven to reduce pregnancy rates in nations where it's more easily
@DN Subscriber"Praise of single-parenthood, instead of its
condemnation. "Fine, we'll tell the pregnant single mother to
get an abortion then... did you forget those single mothers chose life? Oh
right, right tht's it... you also want them to give up their kid too. So many
demands..."The insane urge to make little boys play with dolls
instead of toy guns, and never do anything the least bit dangerous"I played with dolls. Or more specifically I was a nice brother who was
willing to play dolls with his younger sister when we were younger so she'd have
someone to play with. Ah but you don't have to worry... my toyset was
"masculine" enough though it lacked any weaponry beyond one nerf gun
and a squirt gun. Maybe that's not "manly" enough for you, but you
know what I find? The toys my sister and I played with when we're 10 or 20 (we
both love the Final Fantasy game series, or is that not "feminine"
enough to you?) don't have an impact on whether or not we're decent people and
besides, the two of us combined had a 3.95 out of 4.0 high school GPA.
"What is 'attacking' boys?"Well, if one pays close
attention to the commercials on tv about 90% demean males in some form or
another. That is the war..!! Take some time and see in what order
commercials make people look bad, stupid and incompetent. White Males first,
other males next, minority females and last and least white females. You think tv commercials don't affect our society? What is so much money
spent on commercials. You think tv doesn't have an effect on society? We have
been deluded for decades with bogus studies telling us that tv is not
detrimental.I think women and our entire society demean males in
general and white males in particular. How can boys not be affected by that
kind of barrage..!
'The elephant in the room is that children need parents of both genders to be
involved in a positive way in their lives.' - Kathy. - 4:25 p.m. Feb. 18,
2012 I understand why you are saying this. And I don't want to stop
you. But all the information shows... a child needs TWO parents. The
gender of those parents, affects nothing. As exampled by: 'In most ways, the accumulated research shows, children of same-sex parents
are not markedly different from those of heterosexual parents.'
'Coparent or Second-Parent Adoption by Same-Sex Parents' - POLICY STATEMENT -
PEDIATRICS Vol. 109 No. 2 February 2002, pp. 339-340 - Pulished: 02/01/10- AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS (AAP) So, if boys are
falling behind in school, what can we do to combat it? 1st give boys
a stable home. Regardless of the gender of the parents, (Or adopted parents,
grandparents, etc) a child needs stability. 2nd, perhaps parents
need to show a bit more concern. Contact the teachers, Parent/teacher night.
Etc. 3rd, for me. The television became the 'baby sitter'. What was
ON the television wasn't important. The important thing was that the kids were
sitting still. Today, kids have computers. They don't need to wait
for their 'favorite show' with Netflix. They can be entertained x24/7/365. Parents need to shut down distractions and HELP a child with homework.
Every night. While I don't advocate SHOOTING a childs computer. A
parent taking the time to show they care, can change a childs life.
Al those comments about the politics and nothing about what the church has done
in response to feminism. When you change up the doctrine of the patriarchal
priesthood to the point where you soft-pedal the ordinances and covenants to
appear kinder and gentler, what do you think is going to happen.The
Brethren know this, giving talks to the young men to go beyond hanging out and
start acting like men.The church is NOT the antidote here; it's part of
Some good comments. My favorite elementary teacher was my 5th grade teacher,
Mr. Krusi. Most men can not afford to support a family on a teachers salary.
Reality is divorce, and culture are contributing factors. Same sex schools is
an idea that time has has come. It is a proven fact girls do better in same sex
schools, especially high school. I wonder if the same would be true for males.
There is so much discussion about the single parent household. Unfortunately,
if it is true a single parent household affects the academic abilities of boys,
it must also be true it affects the academic abilities of young girls, too,
effectively canceling the possibility of the statistical difference in
achievement laid out by the article.What? Are young boys so fragile
to be the only ones adversely affected by single parent environments? I did not
read one example in the comments here upon the negative impact on girls raised
in a single parent home. And for those who insist on a two parent home as the
cure-all, then look at the very real evidence which proves a same-sex couple in
a committed relationship provides as stable an environment as does a
heterosexual couple in a committed relationship.Perhaps the problem
rests in the way we perceive the different genders, but not in the home. As a
teacher I know there is a pendulum, and though I do not agree it is any kind of
liberal conspiracy, the education community always rides this pendulum to
extremes. This approach, that approach, this curriculum, that assessment. However, it appears to a lot of people, boys are simply too weak and
fall victim to the single parent home.
These boys just need to man up. And so do the parents. Get rid of the xbox as
This excellent article only reinforces the fact that our society is
deteriorating in direct proportion to the decline of religion into a Godless
socilaist environment. Other comments laugh at this reasoning. The family is
the cornerstone of society. Attempts to replace it with "gay
marriage" is only one more "nail in the coffin". Women have
always been the heroic "spear carrier" for the family and children.
Now, they don't want that anymore and there are feminist groups which are
exploiting the innate maturity traits of women to create a wedge against the
family. The "contraception mandate" is only one sign of this
tremendous struggle for control of the psyche of America and to make those of
religion into second class citizens.
To those saying no one is attacking boys, I offer this bit of evidence.I teach at a local school. About three or four times a year I get fliers to
hand out from two local universities. Both of them are offering programs in
science for girls only. They have a special program and money set aside to
educate girls in science. No boys allowed. Is it any wonder the
boys are dropping?
Is this the competing piece to women's health issues and the women's rights
resurgence of late?Both men and women, young and old, are facing untold
obstacles that are being thrown at them on an hourly basis.This is what
our society has become, and unfortunately the solution to it all, is nowhere to
Pagan- a few questions.Are you a parent?Why is it that
the studies you find are correct and all others that show something differently
are incorrect? You keep repeating the same ONE article by the AAP but I can
find hundreds of others that say the best way to raise children is in a home
with a mother and father. You also point out Bristol Palin as one example. I
can find you many more examples of exceptional parents having children that make
mistakes. No one is perfect.If a lesbian couple adopts a son, who
teaches that son how to be a father? Two women?
@JBQ"This excellent article only reinforces the fact that our
society is deteriorating in direct proportion to the decline of religion into a
Godless socilaist environment. Other comments laugh at this reasoning."New Hampshire has the highest rate of atheists, and Mississippi is the
most active church attendance state yet Mississippi is just about at the bottom,
or is the bottom, for education."The "contraception
mandate" is only one sign of this tremendous struggle for control of the
psyche of America and to make those of religion into second class citizens.
"As someone who has been to church 9 weekends this year so far
I'm a lot of things but oppressed isn't one of them. Catholics aren't forced to
use birth control... they willingly choose to use it.@Utah
TeacherI have a degree in a science related field. That field at my old
university, my current university (since I'm pursuing a masters now), and
overall nationwide, is roughly between 2:1 and 3:1 male. The shortage of men is
coming outside of science.
@Pagan and some others. Anecdotal evidence is not enough to prove your point.
You can always find exceptions to situations. The truth can generally be found
in statistics, although they can also be unreliable if the wrong question is
asked, but here we have undeniable proof of boys failing in school and also
answers as to why this is happening. Tradional families where parents are
married and faithful to each other is the main answer to the problems our
society is faced with. The proof will be in the pudding, as they say, when this
problem cannot be denied, even by those who stick their heads in the ground like
an ostrich. (I know ostriches don't really do this.)
@Mick" I can find hundreds of others that say the best way to raise
children is in a home with a mother and father."I find that
most of those studies compare mother and father households to those with one
parent and then those who oppose gay adoption extrapolate it to include gay
families when really they weren't included in the study and the study was just
comparing two parents to one."If a lesbian couple adopts a son,
who teaches that son how to be a father?"Is there something
special one needs to learn to be a father that a mother can't teach? Be decent,
kind, loving to your wife and kids, hardworking... I can't think of any special
lessons I got from my dad that my mom couldn't give me... well okay maybe how to
change a tire on a car since she doesn't know how to do that (I think...). I'm
pretty sure that's not the linchpin of being a good father.
atl,I completely agree. I was just giving one example. Girls have
been under represented in science so a program was set up to equalize things.
How many programs do we see set up so boys can get an upper hand? None. Boys
keep getting put on the back burner while girls are given every opportunity to
succeed. I'm grateful for the programs and efforts but we need to look at both
sides of the equation.
atl-Yes. There is a difference in gender and example makes all the
difference. Are you telling me that women act like men?It is not
all about love and kindness. I grew up with a mother and father and learned
very different things from both.Good fathers teach boys how to be
good fathers by example.
"His mother doesn't understand his struggle. She thinks he needs something
that he's not getting, but what?"What does his Dad think? Just
a hunch, this might be a HUGE part of the problem for boys everywhere.
Of course fathers and mothers make a difference in the life of children. Always
have, always will.What Utahans have to ask themselves is why Utah
continues to lead our nation in teen suicides for the past 23 years?
So, the same White House that wants us to see the importance of both Mom and Dad
is now the same White House that proposes gay marriage?
Many teachers believe it would be a wonderful service to boys if we let girls
start school at age 5 but keep boys out until age 6.Boys lag about a
year behind girls in brain and physical development until puberty. Yet we
expect the boys to perform as well as girls when they are simply not capable of
doing so.Give them a fighting chance beginning in Kindergarten.
I'll bet we'd soon see a big difference.
As an elementary teacher, I have watched this war on males for the last 30 years
in education. We blasted male principals and discriminated against male
applicants for administrative positions. By doing so, we took away an incentive
for getting males to teach despite the low salary. We implemented preferential
treatment for females in science and math. We implemented constructivism as the
teaching style, which was supposed to help girls, which is faulty anyway. All
this has lowered the number of male teachers. No wonder the boys are doing
worse in school, without even mentioning the negative effects of less men in the
NoFitInStGAnd why not? It would improve your life, too.
A Federal Government Council on Boys/Men?I thought a majority of
Utahns believed the Government can't fix anything, and only makes things worse
while wasting a lot of money? But now you want a Government Council to fix this
so-called "war on boys"?On average, Men still earn 20%
more than women for the same credentials and work. Men still outnumber women in
math and science and engineering by triple or more. And as this article
reported, even with more advanced degrees, women earn far less than men with
advanced degrees.We still have religious leaders in this country
preaching "official" teachings that women should stay at home and be
mothers rather than pursue careers, not to mention careers in traditionally male
careers! In some of these religions, Young women who aspire to be engineers are
marginalized, discouraged, and treated as if they are sinners who lack testimony
and faith, and are disobeying Church leaders. Some actually criticize women who
work for "taking a job from a man, who is responsible for providing for a
family".The "equality" of women is still far off.
Don't turn this into gender wars!
Think about this before you answer, what percentage of TV sitcoms and show
strong male characters. Of course there are some but I'm talking a percentage
here. I mean from Homer Simpson to the show Two and Half Men, what are most
shows saying about males? They are stupid, they are lazy, they are sex crazed,
all they do is drink beer, chase women, play video games and live in their Mom's
basement. And get pushed around by women whether it be their wives, mothers and
daughters? Schools are doing more things to maybe help boys but
generally they serve boys much better. In some ways schools are hurting boys
even more such as reducing PE and recess time. Whether this is an
organized thing or not, that is actually debatable Pagan. Whether it's happening
or not, that really isn't.This should concern us all...
I do tend to see it that way: affirmative action for women creating and
institutionalizing a prejudice against the male gender. It's too bad but it
makes boys more humble than girls which may sometimes give individual males a
head start spiritually. It'll all work out in the end. Meanwhile there is an
unjust emotional and academic deficit and a new injustice, not really new since
it's now a generation old or more.
Think of this:Because of the war on public education (and I'm going
to call it a war Pagan), men have left the profession or won't eve consider it
in college. This has created a dearth of male role models in elementary. Even in
secondary, males are leaving the teaching world in droves, they are an
endangered species in elementary. Now with single parent families, mostly headed
by women, these boys have less and less contact with positive male role models.
Teachers and coaches can make a difference but again less and less truly
qualified males are going into the field or teaching. This has to hurt. School
is generally set up for girls anyway. A good well-meaning single mother can be
okay raising boys, surely. But many aren't that good at parenting often dating
and even shacking up with several men during the times their boys are going
through their developmental issues. These boys further get modeled that this is
how you treat women. Am I out to lunch on this?
This articled is right on the money. There has been an all out war on boys and
men in this country for at least the past 30 years. I have lived through this
injustice as well as my son and four son in laws. It goes back to the bashing of
men with the womens rights movement to the title 9 affirmative action. I have
experienced it in employment where advancement in both elementary school and
major department stores like Sears and JC Penney had strict quota's on hiring
women and minorities. Obamas's administration has done nothing but bash men and
support higher payouts to minorities and women. My daughter asked why her
husband had so few scholarship options while she had many. My son would often be
overlooked simply because he was a male. It has gone on way too long. Woman have
a huge edge in education, scholarships and government programs. It is time for
this to change.
I teach remedial reading in grades K-5, in a Federally funded program called
Title I. Most of my students are boys. I would recommend something that hasn't
been suggested yet. Change the age requirement for boys to begin Kindergarten.
In our district children must be 5 by September 1st to be eligible for
Kindergarten. I can tell you that "young" boys - boys with spring and
summer birthdays - are noticeably immature both emotionally and academically
compared to the "older" boys and all of the girls in their grade
level. Ask any Teacher. Also, I too, had wonderful Male Teachers,
and my Dad was a Teacher, but Teaching is no longer an option for men who want
to support their families on one income. Period. If you want men in the
classroom, you have to be willing to pay them a comparative wage. In
regards to curriculum. In my experience, educators have introduced much more
"brain based" curriculum into the schools and classrooms are more
"boy friendly." For example, my school has stand up desks that allow
children to stand to do their work. The problem is that as funding is reduced
or redirected, recess time is cut, P.E. is cut, Tech courses and other electives
are cut - and these losses can not be overcome with curriculum alone. One last thing - single households are most often headed by Women. Instead of
saying things like "defend traditional marriage" we need to ask
"why are the men walking away from their responsibilities and leaving these
women to cope on their own?" In my own family my Sister in law finally
left my brother in law because he wouldn't get a job, wanted to spend his time
playing video games and going out with friends. She told him to shape up or
ship out. He chose divorce - and now he lives in his Mom's basement, while she
has brought up their son, obtained more education, and made a life for herself.
I think she is amazing - I see no shame in her status as a "single
I have four sons, I am married to their father, he is totally invovled in every
aspect of their lives and yet they still struggle! They struggle with an
educational system that caters to girls because the style of learning is sit
still and listen. Their recess is taken away for the most part. They get 10
minutes the entire day. They aren't allowed to talk at lunch, they are supposed
to sit still and not move and not make any noise. No wonder the diagnosis of
ADHD has skyrocketed in the last few years!
Oh never mind that we have a totally dis-functional culture and society . . .
just give Super Nanny even more rights and resources, and I'm sure it will be
fixed. After all, government has done such a marvelous job with sparking the
economy, paying off the Federal deficit, regulating business properly, never
over-regulating, tort reform, nation building, protecting this homeland against
invasion, developing positive relations with other nations, etc., etc. Yeah,
old Super Nanny is the answer . . . and you didn't really need any of those old
rights and property anyway, did you?
School system caters to girls with a "sit still and listen"
approach?What kind of sexist stereotypes are you people propagating
Babies having babies doesn't work, never has worked, and never will work. We
have day-care facilities in the high schools now! Very hard and expensive for a
stable and honest couple to adopt a child, because the taxpayers pick up the tab
for all the kids who want to keep their kids, plus all the other people who
think that the American working taxpayer should fund and carry every person and
problem on the planet. Time to talk about individual responsibility and people
carrying the load for their own actions and decisions. Being a parent is a very
hard and expensive proposition, and not a game for people who only want to
replicate their weaknesses and mistakes.
I've heard some schools have recess before lunch, instead of after lunch and, as
a result, the kids are quieter and calmer during lunchtime. Allowing kids to
move around during the day not only helps boys, but also those with ADHD/ADD.
Our son had a summer birthday. The school district we were in had a
kindergarten, pre-first and first grade. We opted to have our son take
pre-first instead of going directly into first grade. He didn't need to
academically, but emotionally he just needed that extra year. It was the best
decision we made. The number of children living in poverty is
increasing. It is sad. Poverty alone has a big impact on how successful
children will be as adults.
This goes back several years, and I'll site the great Affirmative Action program
mandated by the Federal government. This made the white male the most
expendable and least marketable species on Earth. And statistics continue to
lie: the reason average pay for women trails men is because women choose
careers that don't pay as much, and don't focus on career development as much.
Many are just looking for that giant meal ticket called "marriage,"
and figure that's their ticket to whatever else they need. And all this math
and science stuff--I have friends who got advanced degrees in these fields and
still had NO job offers whatsoever. Our society is full of fluff, fantasy,
fallacy, and folly.
Thank you for targeting the number one social ill in America as it relates to
boys. . . and actually to girls as well-- the absence of engaged fathers. I
remember reading a poster by the National Fatherhood Initiative that said,
"What reduces crime, drug use, teen pregnancy, juvenile delinquency and
require no new taxes?" The answer. . . . . "GOOD FATHERS!" The
price we are paying for the absence of fathers in our children's lives is
staggering. Did you know that close to 80% of all criminals on death row in our
prisons grew up in homes without a father? Over one third of all babies born in
a America today come home from the hospital to a home with no father. And in
the Black community, close to 90% all all babies born, are born to single
mothers. The reversal of father absence needs to become a national priority.
Father absence is truly at the core of every problem our young boys are facing
and will continue to be saddled with throughout their entire lives--many of them
never even knowing who their real father is. It's a vicious cycle that is
growing larger and larger with every passing year. Good fathers are essential
to raising successful children--both boys and girls. It's time to focus on
helping fathers realize their worth and encouraging them to step up to the plate
and be real men when it comes to raising their children. Check with the
National Fatherhood Initiative for updated details. You will be sickened by the
harm that fatherlessness has on our society, and you will be encouraged at the
research proving what a positive difference good fathers can provide by putting
their children's needs ahead of their own.
My son is a June birthday. He went to kindergarten "on time" but it
was a difficult year. I knew he wasn't ready for first grade so we had him
repeat kinder and it has been the best decision we ever made. He has excelled
and has gained confidence and has learned to read! We did have to fight hard
for it to happen as the principal didn't think it was necessary (and didn't want
to mess with his numbers of kids repeating a grade), but I knew it was best for
my son and so I fought the good fight.
What exactly is the "feminization" of the classroom? Before women
were even permitted to seek a formal education it was men who largely ran the
schools and only boys (wealthy boys) that went to school. I'm thinking they
pretty much determined how formal education was developed (i.e. the sit at
desks, do your reading, listen to teacher, etc. model.) Are we to believe that
it was women who made up the model of sitting at a desk all day reading and
writing? I'm sorry, but that is ridiculous. Formal education was never modeled
around the female student, but it was modeled around a student that was expected
to act unlike a child. I just think this idea that somehow women,
or the dreaded feminists, are behind all of this is RIDICULOUS! Blame lack of
male rolemodels, family structure, student and parent discipline,etc., but it is
not because of some misguided femininism that boys are falling behind now.
Rights without responsibility. Actions without consequences. (of course the
consequences always come)That is the problem in a nutshell. A
belief in God and morality is the cure. Always has been, always will be. Some
with a moral compass will fail, and some without will succeed, but those are the
Wow the "so called experts" are finally realizing what I have been
stating for decades. I have no problem giving people equal chances at success.
Girls, boys, straight, gay, black, white, yellow, purple, green, red, orange or
whatever.The problem is when you put one group at a disadvantage and
call it "diversity" or "payback". Something white people are
having to work through as "minorities" get green lights into graduate
schools, have fewer restrictions and any road block taken from them. Meanwhile
if your white trying to get into a business school. Good luck. Even if your
grades are higher and your more qualified, they'll take someone else based
on gender or skin color.What's the point in trying. You apply
for a job, and they'll take someone who isn't white to meet quotas.Thanks alot "intellectual" left. You've done a great
disservice to this country. Discrimination is discrimination no matter what the
skin color or gender of the person.
You want boys to get more involved in social sciences, language arts, and
education? Foster that as a goal. Stop having youth nights with basketball,
scouting, and video games. Get boys to read. Encourage reading. Start calling
out masculine attitudes about "that's just what boys do".
The problem is that you aren't making boys succeed in school. If your son
isn't reading ever night, he's going to fail. But hey, let's
skip school for the deer hunt, spring break, and that family vacation!
Let's go to youth night before a test the next day.Put
education and grades foremost, and you'll get the results. Boys like
competition. Make them compete for grades.
.......The girls go to college, and the boys go to jail....A common scenario
across every demographic.
Can we stop overusing "the war on" whatever?
I'm a single father of a daughter. I'm prepared to send her to college
in a few years but I'm appaled at how many parents I hear say thier kids
will be on thier own in college. They aren't saying they will help as much
as they can, just that thier kids are on thier own. Particularly parents of boys
I hear this from.Just a theory but I think parents support thier
daughters more than they do boys. Or are more likely to let thier boys fend for
themselves than they would thier daughters.
When I went to elementary school all of the teachers were women and I recall one
boy complaining that one teacher favored girls over boys.I'm
not sure if that was true as I never noticed that personally, but today I know
that males are portrayed as inferior and made the butt of jokes on television,
or caricatured snd stereotyped in other unfavorable ways. All this passes into
the psyches of the young and impressionable. Females, on the other hand, are
excused in their negative behaviors where males would be roundly condemned.We have had a generation of this; in fact we are into the second
feminist generation. Much of the problem comes from or is perpetuated by
unbalanced legislation, and is grounded in an epidemic of divorces, followed by
custody of the mother over the father, from greedy lawyers, activist judges etc.
If one father is good, wouldn't two be better? eg; "Modern Family"
There's also a war on fathers, husbands, and traditional family. Almost
every family program, the father is made to look like a stooge.
To me, this is about the media. Music, television, pop culture suggest that
responsibility, maturity, marriage, child rearing, and especially education are
all for nerds or complete fools. Selfishness and the path of least resistance
abound. "Dudes are dumb" themes have been common for my growing up life
and this is what society gets in return. Using the TV to babysit, where an
unreal and unhealthy reality is conveyed and believed is at least one of the
culprits to this problem. I can count ten friends that didn't go to
college. Of those, 1 has a decent job. That means he MIGHT be able to pay a
mortgage with it. Not that it matters, he has a truck and boat and lives with
his parents. Oh, he's 31 years old. The other nine friends are working
in the mall, or at entry level positions because of there lack of education.
They're all at least 30! I don't want to hear about the rare
exceptions that happen to make a good living without school. All of my other
friends that went to school are all in manager positions or higher and make over
60 grand a year.
I recently watched a TV program that addressed this very subject. Part of the
program showed a Catholic all boys school. Their program was very interesting,
in that one of the teachers, who was female, stated that boys are essentially
treated like "defective females" in conventional schools. This all boys
Catholic school had a very high success rate in college acceptance for these
boys. Their curriculum involved a lot of interaction, geared for competition,
between the boys, to learn. It was very interesting.
As a teacher and single mother of three grown children (a son and two
daughters), I found this article interesting. At the time of my divorce, my
ex-husband moved out of state, abdicating responsibility for the children to me.
He would go six months at a time without seeing his son, the oldest at age 12.
His daughters he saw more frequently at first, but later he also stopped seeing
them. My daughters are both college graduates with healthy
relationships. My son has struggled since adolescence, despite high intelligence
and a myriad of talents. No college, low level jobs.My children did
not watch tv or movies growing up (hence no negative influences there), and they
attended a great private school with children who were likewise protected.Their world was filled with music education, sports, all wholesome
activities that they chose. I gave them all the same opportunities and support,
but I see clearly that the lack of a male influence was devastating for my son.
And if anyone imagines that there are worthy men out there clammering to help
these fatherless boys, they are sadly mistaken. We need to hold fathers
accountable to their children after divorce, period.
Is it any wonder the Tea Party Exists? Look no further than the
government's meddling in every thing that is happening in our society,
including another 'blue ribbon' panel to figure this one out. The
federal government, abetted in their power vacuum by the 'do gooders'
within both major parties, have supported abortion on demand, gay marraige, tax
policies that support divorce, unwed mothers, fatherless homes, and a host of
other social ills that destry family life. Wake up! Boys need good examples,
choice with consequences (that allow them to learn early), and opportunity, none
of which exists in our current drive to control, manage, and force every step of
human endeaver, all of it found within the democratic and republican parties.
Get the Democrats and the Republicans out of the way, allow liberty to exist,
and return to the author of liberty, God, and all will be well.
The points in the article are well documented. Boys and girls learn
differently. Boys feel good when they compete, girls compete when they feel
good. Competition in schools is seen as a bad thing, boys are not seen as
worth-while because of the desire/need to be active and challenge, because girls
tend not to be that way. The "good kid" model is one who doesn't
need to complete or be active. Those who do are labeled and medications
recommended. As an active Scouter, I see where that program is tailored to that
mindset. The very definition of kinetic energy is an 8 yr old in a blue
shirt......let them be boys, let them compete and they will learn. Recognize
that boys and girls learn differently, it isn't discrimination but a
recognition of facts. Let each gender learn in the environment best suited for
them and lets enjoy the results.
As the mother of a house full of boys and a couple of girls too, I can tell you
boys and girls learn differently. Generalising here, but boys are usually hands
on challenge oriented. Girls usually like quiet, book oriented learning. This
alone makes it harder for boys to learn because the classroom is not a place
condusive to their type of learning. Then take the fact that most teachers are
women and many have no patience for roudy boys. The solution is one many
will not like because it sounds like segagation. Boys in one classroom, girls in
another. Or more specifically Hands on learners, taught one way, quiet book
learners taught another. This would give every child the opportunity to grasp
what is being taught.
They maybe a war against bad boys but there is certainly not a war agains boys.
i have always worked in international firms and corporation and most of the
management there were males. In the course of my professional activities, i had
to do some search on companies and when i look at who is at managerial levels,
In 95 per cent of cases, the number of women represents 5 to 10 per cent of the
team compared to men. Do the statistics on a world level, it will be the same.
So if men are lagging behind it is not because of a war against
them, it is because they lack the motivation and will to succeed. And if women
get ahead in the classrom, it is beacause, considering the world in which we
live and the past, they know that their chance at surviving in this world where
men are no longer dependable for the majority (though definitely some are....
hopefully on the long term) is to be financially independent. (to be continued)
Continued from previous postIn my family, if it had not been for my
mother, we would have ended homeless.... I am not the only one to be in that
situation. Millions of women are happy they have a job because they were either
abondonned by their husband or had to divorce because they were abused,
neglected or cheated,or just because in this uncertain and risky world they were
safer being single.No it is not a war against boys.... it is a
struggle for survival and gender equality.
Please see how differential treatment is creating differences. See stress more
correctly as layers of mental work that take up real mental energy. See how
more aggressive treatment of young Males creates higher stress that hurts
learning/motivation (mental reward received for mental work expended). Also
creates higher muscle tension that hurts handwriting/motivation to write; and
creates more activity for stress relief. Try to see the social/emotional
distance created by more aggressive more authoritarian treatment by parents and
teachers. Try to see the need for love/honor not given unless achieving, sending
more Males to video games or sports for feelings of self-worth. Try to see how
the girls are given much more kind, stable, verbal interaction and other
menta/emotional/social support and care through adulthood.
On the one hand, the best way to fix this problem is the same best way to fix
many problems; fix the family. Make families strong and loving.On
the other, it is insensetive to suppose that there is no intended or
concentrated attack on males. Stop and look at how frequently men and boys are
the butt of the joke, or the incompetent goon on television. Stop and think
critically about the many feminist claims and ideals, and how vehemntly they
continue to push the support of women and exlcusively women, citing flawed and
outdated information to paint a one-sided picture of gender equality. Look to
the countless implicit claims today that families do not require a father and a
mother, that two of one or only one will do.