HOMETOWN HEROES

One candidate rumored to have shown interest in the Weber State football job is ex-BYU coach Gary Crowton.

That's strange.

Weber once hired Ron McBride, who coached at Utah.

Then it hired John L. Smith, who coached at Utah State.

Then it allegedly made a push to hire Southern Utah coach Ed Lamb.

Now Crowton's name comes up?

This just in: 83-year-old LaVell Edwards has removed himself from consideration.

Email: rock@desnews.com; Twitter: @therockmonster; Blog: Rockmonster Unplugged

HUMBLY YOURS

Speaking of Weber, former Wildcat Damian Lillard was at EnergySolutions Arena on Monday for the Trail Blazers’ game against the Jazz.

“I haven’t accomplished much,” he modestly noted. “I mean, I won Rookie of the Year, which is something I wanted to do, but right now I’m happy with how much we’re winning.”

Lillard’s humility is reminiscent of Kevin Durant, who once said he only dreamed of playing in college because, “I didn’t think I’d be in the league or none of that.”

No word on when LeBron James will claim he only wanted to make his high school team.

HAIRY SITUATION

Real Salt Lake coach Jason Kreis wiped away tears following a shootout loss to Kansas City in last week’s MLS Cup final.

Asked in a press conference about the team’s locker room mood, he said, “I would advise you, if you have a choice, not to go in there.”

Turned out Rock On did go in there, only to find nothing more frightening than Sebastian Velasquez’s mullet.

THE BIG CHILL

RSL played its match in temperatures in the high teens or low 20s.

Which is not much colder than the room temperature after reporters asked Kreis for the umpteenth time: “So, are you leaving RSL?”

FALSE START

USC quarterback Cody Kessler told the Seattle Times that new coach Steve Sarkisian’s sincerity was obvious when he recruited Kessler to Washington.

“He was real,” Kessler said. “Nothing he did was a lie.”

What about saying he hadn’t interviewed with USC, hours before accepting the job?

That was just a bad audible.

SHOCK TREATMENT

A Chicago Bears fan was arrested last month for using a stun gun on his wife, as per agreement in their football bet.

The husband wasn’t charged with battery because the shocking was consensual.

But there are still two pending counts of dumbing down the institution of marriage.

WORM ENDORSED

Dennis Rodman is endorsing a line of signature vodka. No real news there.

But wouldn’t it make more sense if the Worm had his own line of tequila?