COUCH SESSION

For those who remember Jerry Sloan’s complaints that his team was forever “jackpotting around,” there’s this: A recent newspaper insert for R.C. Willey furniture included a “Jackpot” sofa sale.

“Apparently,” wrote reader S. Reed Grant, “Jerry Sloan has gone into the furniture design business.”

NERD HERD

Reigning Cy Young winner David Price wasn’t happy last Saturday after Tampa Bay’s playoff loss to Boston. That much was clear as he walked away from media muttering, “Great questions, nerds.”

Rock On takes exception to such broad stereotypes — and has the 2.0 GPA to prove it.

STATIC REDUCTION

The Air Force Academy canceled its weekly football press conference last Tuesday due to the government shutdown.

Question: Is there also a way the government can stop coaches from saying, “I’d need to look at the film”?

FARE FINDER

In other shutdown news, United Airlines offered to fly the Falcons to their game against Navy, no charge.

Though AFA declined the offer, Rock On expects the airline would have easily recouped the loss via lunches and baggage fees for 60 players and their equipment.

SIX OF ONE …

In their loss to UCLA last Saturday, the Utes allowed the second-most interceptions in school history.

Quarterback Travis Wilson threw six picks.

For the benefit of football novices, that isn’t the same as a pick-six.

DONE AND DONE

Alex Rodriguez’s lawsuit against Major League Baseball claims it is trying to “destroy the reputation and career” of the hitting star.

That kinda happened when he was photographed kissing himself in a mirror, didn’t it?

FROZEN JUICE

According to the National Enquirer, O.J. Simpson was apprehended at Lovelock Correctional Center while trying to smuggle a dozen oatmeal cookies from the cafeteria.

The prison denied the story.

Simpson allegedly insisted he was only reclaiming what was his.

HISTORY CALLING

Enes Kanter on working with Karl Malone in the off-season: “Even when he talks, you understand why he’s a legend.”

Yeah, especially if he’s talking in third person.

LAST STOP

Lane Kiffin had to know it would end badly.

Still.

The former USC coach got pink-slipped in the airport parking lot, following the Trojans’ Sept. 28 loss to Arizona State.

Which begs the question: Couldn’t they just have ended it someplace civilized like the men’s restroom?