DISTANCE DRIVING

BYU students have built a car that won a national competition by getting 1,331 miles per gallon.

Drivers had to go at speeds as low as two miles per hour and average just 15 mph.

In other words, it went forever, but agonizingly slow.

Designers reportedly fashioned their plan after the football program’s search to find a suitable conference.

THIS OLD HOUSE

The Jazz on Monday announced plans to upgrade EnergySolutions Arena with a new video display system.

How badly was the facelift needed?

Rock On isn’t saying it was outdated, except to admit it had vaguely begun to remind him of John Stockton’s shorts.

PAIN AGAIN

Last week marked the 15th anniversary of the Jazz’s memorable Game 6 NBA Finals loss to Chicago.

Sources say Bryon Russell still can’t understand why Michael Jordan wouldn’t want to play a makeup game that would embarrass them both and make viewers scratch out their eyes.

OWNING IT

New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft told the New York Post his Super Bowl ring was, well, appropriated by Russian president Vladimir Putin in 2005.

According to Kraft, he handed the ring to Putin, who surprisingly pocketed it. A Putin spokesman denied Kraft’s account, saying it was a gift. Now Kraft's people are saying it was only a humorous anecdote.

Still, it’s an unsettling possibility: Russian guy sees something he likes, so he claims it.

Isn’t that what happened with the Nets?

FIGHT NIGHT

A beanball exchange led to a bench-clearing brawl last week in a game between Arizona and Los Angeles.

Included in the melee were ex-players Mark McGwire, Don Mattingly, Matt Williams and Kirk Gibson.

Sources say the incident would have ended earlier but they were waiting for Ty Cobb to arrive.

DATELINE

Washington Nationals star Bryce Harper made recent news — but not entirely for baseball.

His girlfriend, coming off her sophomore season as a BYU soccer player, tweeted photos of flowers and a dress that Harper purchased for their date.

Sources say he was about to buy the movie theater and restaurant, too, but couldn’t fit them in his car.

VINSANITY

At press time, the Los Angeles Clippers were still looking for a coach after firing Vinny Del Negro.

The former coach won a club-record 56 games and directed the Clippers’ first division championship.

Sources say the ownership liked his style, but felt he had violated a time-honored Clippers tradition of finishing last and losing 50-plus games a year.

Email: rock@desnews.com; Twitter: therockmonster; Facebook: therockmonster