1. I hope you did extra laundry last night so you could have a day off today. By the way, where is my blue shirt?

2. Let’s hurry and open your presents so I can watch the game.

3. I’m glad you like it. You know, it was hard to find a hat that would look good with your gray hair.

4. Boy, I sure wish someone would give me a special day.

5. They were out of plus sizes, so I got you this vacuum cleaner instead.

6. We got you a special treat: Ultimate fighting tickets for the whole family, on the front row!

7. Don’t worry about the dishes, you can do them tomorrow.

8. Hey, you liked it when I traced my hand and gave it to you as a child.

9. Is this a good time to tell you I’ve missed some payments on the loan you co-signed?

10. We chipped in and got you this coupon for laser hair removal!

Jay Evensen, associate editorial page editor, is the author of the weekly feature “Second Thoughts.”