Besides not taking out the garbage, and personal hygiene, and not communicating effectively, what usually bothers the wife most? Here are a few options:
"Why are you still playing those kids' games?"
"You need to grow up."
"Don't you know you could get hurt?"
Steve Smith's wife is probably saying just that. The Carolina Panthers' star receiver broke his arm last week while playing in an offseason flag football league.
"I wish I could take it back," Smith told Charlotte radio station WFNZ-AM. "But I am a regular guy outside of football. I mow my grass, too. I can get my finger chopped off fixing my lawnmower. I could roll my ankle playing tag or slip-n-slide with my kids. In hindsight, yeah, I won't do it again. But I was just having fun, playing with some guys."
Rock On understands playing flag football, but tell him again: Why is a guy who made $4.4 million last season mowing his own lawn?
Safe way out
Smith, a former Ute star, reiterated his flag football days are over.
"I'm going to sit in my bubble. That's what I'm going to do for the rest of my career," he continued. "That would be better for everybody."
Meanwhile, Rock On hopes to stay in his climate controlled, sandwich-and-soda-enhanced pressbox bubble for the rest of his natural days, hoping not to get hurt.
Phillies pitcher Jamie Moyer, at 47 years and 155 days, became the oldest pitcher ever to beat the Yankees, two weeks ago.
Moyer told reporters: "I don't think that I'm old. So I don't believe it."
True enough, you're only as young as you feel. But try telling that to the waiters at the Denny's who keep asking if you want the senior discount.
Short and sweet
Ex-Sonic Gary Payton was among the honorees at the 14th annual Webby Awards, presented by the International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences.
One of the rules for winners was that they had to limit their acceptance speeches to five words. So when Payton took the podium, he used his moment to say, "Bring back our Seattle SuperSonics!"
Which is a lot better than the Jazz's acceptance speech which, had they won, would have been "Raul Lopez wasn't our fault!"